101 Nights of Randomness
by Lex the Kitsune
Summary: NiGHTS is kicked out of the dreamers world, Reala is cycled through jobs, and Jackle is... THE SAME AS EVER! Rated T for some violence, and possible language in other chapters
1. The begginings

101 Nights of randomness

Hey it's Lex again with another story, this time I'm writing about the flying jester NiGHTS. One thing though, I have never played any NiGHTS game so if I'm off with anything just bear with me, mkay? This story has a goal to get all the way to 101 chapters of the heroic NiGHTs, villainous Reala, and the…uh…insane Jackle

Nights is © of Sega and sonic team, I don't own anyone from this story.

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The clouds whizzed past the purple jester, as he twirled and twisted through the air. He was in the real world for now, flying over the streets of New York watching the people talk and laugh and bet on who can win in a fight with stale bread. The moonlight reflected off his face while he danced through the air. NiGHTS grinned, flipping in a dramatic fashion through the air with a few twinkles following. Then BAM! He rather ungracefully slammed head-first into the statue of liberty.

"Owies" The Nightmaren grumbled in pain as he slid down the giant statue, until he fell onto the ground in pain. He got up slowly, getting himself together before flying back into the sky like nothing happened. "Im getting bored." NiGHTS sighed, flying upside down with his legs crossed. There was nothing to do around anywhere in the real world so NiGHTS thought he would go back to Nightopia.

He did a silly jig… but nothing happened. "Oh yeah…" NiGHTS said. He was banished from Nightopia for 101 nights for his mischief. Such as spray painting, destroying, blowing up things, switching the men's and women's bathroom signs, throwing banana peels, putting bodily waste in peoples tea, and the worst crime of all… NOT WIPING HIS FEET AT THE DOOR! (Dun dun dun)

"Well I guess 101 nights isn't so bad, it's nice and cool up here." NiGHTS shrugged as he went abit higher into the air. At that very moment, the sky grew darker and it started to rain. A lightning bolt struck the poor Nightmaren, sending him plummeting down into the dark water. He resurfaced, spitting out the water filled with wrappers, bottles, brown goop, and copies of the New York Times. "Or maybe not…" NiGHTS frowned and swam back to the shore.

-Nightmare-

Golden claws sliced through a strange, moist meat, causing it to flip into small and bloodstained chunks. The meaty parts splattered on a hot metal surface, the deadly Reala was the cause. The Nightmaren then took out a large slick metal object… a spatula? Yes ever since he tried to sell Jackle to rabid fan dreamers, Reala had been lowered in rank greatly that he would have to work as a fry cook at the local Mcmaren fast-food restaurant. He hated every waking moment of the job, especially since he was sentenced to work for 101 nights.

Reala growled, just hearing the work nights made his blood boil. At least the purple fool wouldn't be around to laugh at him for a while. He grinned at the thought of being able to sleep without NiGHTS bothering him every ten minutes to go to the bathroom.

Lost in his chain of thoughts, Reala didn't notice tipping over a ketchup bottle, in turn knocking a spatula into flipping a patty onto the ground causing Reala to trip and go sliding into a burning batch of grease and fries. The Nightmaren howled in pain, running around knocking over various cooking devices, causing them to explode and destroy the restaurant.

"REEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" was the scream of the manager (who was not surprisingly Wiseman). Reala grabbed a burnt patty from the ground. "Uhhh… order up?" he whimpered pathetically.

-Jackle's Room-

In the mess of blocks, capes, and other objects was a rather strange Nightmaren who was screaming a whole mess of random. The Maren was none other than Jackle, who was gluging down a large bottle labeled… Listerine? "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" screamed a voice, Jackle's voice. The thing about Jackle was when he was alone, he had a bad habit of talking to himself. This was one case.

"I WAS THIRSTYSO I DRANKED SOME OF THISSTUFF UNDER THESINK BUT IT MADE MY MOUTHSPICY SO I DRANK S'MORE BUT IT MADE IT SPICIER!... but now Im ok" Jackle screamed, drinking the last of its contents. "oh. Well now you should know better to not drink Listerine." "…Listerine? Oh, that's just a label I put on it to make it fancy" Jackle took off the label, revealing another label with 'Nitroglacium' printed on it (explosive liquid).

Jackle ran out of the room, then sat back down and tilted his head. The nitroglacium label fell off to reveal another label printed ' hot sauce' "Weirdo" Jackle grinned, drinking more of the hot sauce.

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Reveiws are adored, Flames are ignored, and everything else is swell. So toon in next time, I'll see you in-

Jackle: BANANA!


	2. The nightmaren before halloween

101 nights of randomness.

Lookie! Im actually updating! I have a good feeling about this story from the reviews so far.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this fic other than Rook (he's my fan charrie), though I wish I owned at least a Jackle plush…

Hope you like this chapter.

Nightmaren before Halloween, Childs play, and SPONGE!

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-The waking world, Oct 31-

The streets of New York were filled again with busy folk, decorations of witches and bats were hung from the walls. Pumpkins also were common every which way you turned, on the doorway, in the water, on a table. Everything was orange, black, and purple… wait, purple? NiGHTS groaned, holding up a pack of ice to his head from the last night. "Dang lady liberty, you sure pack a punch for a statue." NiGHTS chuckled, perched on the tip of the teal statue's crown.

It was a clear night, and the moon shone beautifully in the sky, and the stars twinkled like something out of a novel. Then there were dark clouds and poor NiGHTS was zapped by ten-thousand volts worth of lightning, falling off the statue and tumbling to the ground while painfully smacking against the copper lady. "Owies" NiGHTS quoted from yesterday, sitting up all frazzled and dizzy on the ground with his hair frizzed up (yes NiGHTS has hair for those who didn't know). The Maren shook it off and adjusted his jester hat, finding a strange flyer nearby on the ground.

NiGHTS picked it up, seeing that it was a three years old poster from last Halloween with a skeleton dressed up as 'sandy claws'. "That's weird; I didn't know skeletons dressed up as sandy for Halloween." NiGHTS pondered on the subject. If that was so then were there presents on Halloween too?

Our silly hero grinned at the thought of presents, maybe the candy was presents. But to get it they had to dress up, but everyone was dressed up… NiGHTS got a sudden idea, taking off into the air to find some certain items. He was swift in grabbing a bag of Jawbreakers from the store, leaving some Nightmare coins on the very spot it was last. He dived past some trick or treaters, grabbing one of their candy bags. The trick or treater looked around, frazzled on where his bag went. The human shrugged and took off to plunder another house.

NiGHTS passed right by a window were a certain author was frantically writing this down to post the very words you are reading now. NiGHTS flew back to the statue and opened the Jawbreaker bag, some of the jawbreakers poured out on the ground. He popped one in his mouth, surprised at how sweet it was compared to Nightopian candy. The jester pocketed a few more for later and the rest he shoved into the trick or treat bag.

"Hope this makes the dreamers happy" NiGHTS smiled, taking off into the air with the jawbreakers. He began tossing the candy onto the streets as he flew with a grin and twirl. On the ground the candy bounced off the floor while kids held out their bags. The adults were having bad luck, often tripping on the jawbreakers and getting knocked out. Some Jawbreakers broke more than jaws, smashing open windows and knocking over vases. Cars swerved out of control, slamming into fire hydrants while blocking the roads causing a fire truck to ram into a building and explode.

Everyone ducked for cover from the delicious hard candies of doom, running around and screaming in horror. NiGHTS reached the end of his candy throwing streak. He landed on the top off the statue of liberty, making sure not to land where he was struck last time and to maneuver around the bird poo. He watched as the entire city burned to its doom, and then exploded. If you looked closely, you could see the author pack up his typewriter and head off to another destination.

"I guess they don't like jawbreakers" NiGHTS shrugged, popping another one in his mouth with delight. He cackled against the moon eerily, until he started choking and was struck by that evil lightning of doom.

-Nightmare-

Ah, Ruddy's Place. The best kid arcade ever, with games, prizes, pizza, and of course clowns. It was a large place, a ball pit was in a corner and the prizes were worth the money for tickets to get them, the best was a 100000 ticket jetpack that has only been one by three people. Jackle, Rook, and NiGHTS. Reala had always been jealous that he couldn't win that jetpack. Sure he could fly easily without it but it was so damn cool looking.

Reala growled as he smeared the last of the make up on his face and wiped his claws on a frilly suit; now he didn't look evil at all. He was supposed to host some kid's birthday as Ruddy the happy Maren, and since NiGHTS wasn't around to volunteer and Jackle was too deranged Reala had been forced into it. He considered becoming emo, but he stared at his hands and sighed when he realized he had no wrists to cut. The manager of Ruddy's (again, Wiseman) floated into the changing room to check up on his employee. "Very good Reala, I see you've gotten the costume part done." Wiseman smirked, trying not to diminish his high stature by laughing at his Maren.

"Your on, and for your sake you have to smile" Wiseman stated. Reala's eye twitched and he curled his lips into a smile…an evil maniac smile. He knew that would be abit too much and tried to copy NiGHT'S goofy grin. He naturally nailed the grin; this would be annoying but easy, he could feel it in his non-existent wrists. Reala floated out of the room and just as he left Wiseman let out a storm of laughter. He fell over; two of his hands holding his sides while the other four pounded the ground in attempt to control himself.

Trumpets blared and his que was signaled. Reala swallowed his pride and evil, trying to get a funny nature in him. He burst through a large screen, flying around the air while doing a jig. The Nightopians laughed and giggled as Reala got tangled in the streamers and crashed into a giant pie. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMMY!" Reala grinned goofily, while his inner evil slapped him mentally. The smaller Nightopians pounced him (which was EVERY Nightopian in the arcade) determined to do something or other, pull him, poke him, hug him, or bite him.

The Marren's eyes widened as he tried to run, but it was too late. Reala was being defeated and choked by the little buggers, as he desperately tried to get away, clawing at the ground as the Nightopians tried to pull his hat off. Reala escaped, diving into the large tube maze and blockading the entrance, though the kids still got in and cornered him. He clawed out of the maze and began throwing things at the Maren, but they were stubborn to poke him with their sticky fingers/claws/paws/fins.

Reala went to desperate measures to set off the jetpack from behind the prize counter. It flew around uncontrollably and exploded right into the generator, setting the entire place in flames. Wiseman emerged from his laughing fit, only to see that his arcade was in ruins. "REEEEEEAAAAAAAAALLLLAAAAA!!!!!!!" Wiseman roared, plasma charged in his hands, ready to fire. Reala picked up a rack of tickets, counting them fast. "Uh, I'd like the Jetpack prize please…" Reala chuckled lightly.

-Jackle's Room-

Our insane uh… Maren? Yeah, our insane little Maren was scrubbing away at the walls of his playroom. He continuously washed his wall with a sponge and bucket, breathing insanely as he did so humming to 'you are a pirate'. A wisp of energy appeared in the room, signaling a certain marren's presence.

He was checkered white and black, wearing a vest matching his skin with red buttons made to look like checkers pieces. His shoes were embroidered with a Rook and Pawn piece, and plastered on the Marens face, under those silver eyes was a grin similar to Jackle's but not uh…. As deranged. "Uh… Jackle, what are you doing?" The Maren questioned, approaching the insane one. Jackle sprang up, still holding the soap drenched sponge.

"THEY'RE EVERYWHERE ROOK, EVERYWHERE!" Jackle screamed, waving his sponge and sending soapy water everywhere. "What's everywhere? Did you take your medicine today?" Rook asked, though he was answered when he saw the unopened bottle of mood pills in the trash. "BACTERIA! Its everywhere man! It's hiding from me, AND IT WANTS TO TAKE MY MACARONI!!!... NO! They can't take my macaroni!!! NOOOOOOO!" Jackle screamed, scrubbing the wall furiously. He then polished his jack in the boxes, and scrubbed Rook's face with the sponge.

Rook spat out soapy water, gagging on the taste while Jackle began to wash his soap. "Yuck, dude the bacteria doesn't want your macaroni." Rook spat, scrapping his tongue with his claws to get the taste out. "… what macaroni?!" Jackle asked, washing his poker trophies and scrubbing his sponge with itself.

"I think you got them all Jackle. Now let's go play 'get Rook a soda'" Rook suggested, but Jackle wouldn't have any of it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY SOAP ISNT CLEAN! SOMEONE CALL GHOSTBUSTERS, MY MILKSHAKES ARE BURNING!!!!!" Jackle screamed, falling on the floor to attempt to clean the air. Rook backed away slowly from the deranged Nightmaren before disappearing completely.

Jackle stopped scrubbing, looking at his bed. He yawned and floated slowly to his bed, only to fall over asleep landing with his face in a bucket of soapy water. He snored lightly, dreaming of muffins and candy canes…" Jackle had sweet dreams as always.

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I'd like to say a few things on this chapter; I got the idea of NiGHTS from nightmare before Christmas. I got Reala's job from a scene in TMNT. And the sponges thing? Oh my good friends, that was a true story I suggest that you give Jackle some alone time. Reviews are adored, Flames are ignored, and happy Halloween dreamers!

Jackle: MOOFINS! WITH GRAVY AND TOAST, YUMMY!


	3. Nightmare musical

101 Nights of randomness

Hey, it's Lex again. I got a rather interesting chapter for you, Im in the mood to get the maren to sing. Anyway here's the disclaimer

Disclaimer: I don't own NiGHTS, Reala, or Jackle (sad but true) whom all belong to SEGA.

Claimer: Rook the Nightmaren is © of me and if you want him in your fic just ask and I'll let you use him. Any questions, contact me at with a review. I own the song 'Lights of hope', which is not a remix but my own works.

So here's the new chapter: Nightmare Musical

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-Waking World, Hollywood 10:45 PM-

Flashy neon lights, busy streets, celebrities. Either NiGHTS was woozy from the extreme pollution or he was in Hollywood, California! NiGHTS was marveled by the pretty lights and sounds of the casinos. He unfortunately flew over a factory, choking on the heavy smog coming from it and was sent spiraling down to the ground.

At the same time, someone who was getting mugged (as usual) pointed at NiGHTS "LOOK, IT'S A PURPLE FLYING JESTER!" the civilian cried. The robbers didn't even believe him and proceeded to beat the snot out of him. NiGHTS crashed into a large building, landing in a backstage area in for auditions for a new movie. "Owies" NiGHTS muttered, sitting up and smiling that no one saw him.

He got a Jawbreaker from his vest and popped it in his mouth before he started to look around the place. It was what he expected, but what he didn't expect was that he fell on the platform for tryouts. NiGHTS found a script nearby and picked it up, reading the song on it. It was amazing, the perfectness of a remix said 'NEXT!' NiGHTS was pushed onto the stage by something. The Director looked at NiGHTS strangely. "Uhhh, you are Jim, right?" the director asked, adjusting his glasses to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

"Uhhhhhhhh" NiGHTS gulped, he had stage fright since the talent show in first grade

-Flashback-

NiGHTS was only three, yet he had learned how to fly only after jumping off a cliff. Reala came backstage as the curtains closed; having done an impression of Scarface stunningly well he had surpassed Jackle's card tricks and Rook's knock-knock jokes the last one to act was NiGHTS. "There is no NiGHTS." Reala smirked while licking the fake blood off his claws.

NiGHTS stuck his tongue out at Reala, hoping the ketchup would give him indigestion or something. Reala would always say that he didn't really exist, and it bothered him to no end. NiGHTS peeked out at the audience, it was a full house with Wiseman all the way in the front, and several Nightmaren were in the seats eagerly waiting NiGHTS routine.

The little maren gulped, looking at his sock puppets that he spent two days on. The curtains were pulled apart and NiGHTS stared at the audience, just staring…. Staring… staring… staring… He couldn't pull himself together to perform his sock puppet play. NiGHTs ran off the stage, embarrassed and wondering why he even took part in the show anyways.

-End flashback-

NiGHTS gulped as he did so many years ago. The Director was impatient "Right, sing something at least." The chubby director frowned, writing down notes on a clipboard. NiGHTS noticed he still was holding the script and decided to sing that song.

There was a slight tune of music playing from somewhere, probably NiGHTS' red ideya responding to his thoughts. NiGHTS sighed and began to sing:

_Sometimes, you look around. All there is darkness to be found. _

_But if you con-cen-trate, there is the smallest spark of light!_

The director raised an eyebrow as the music increased in sound, looking around to see where it was coming from. NiGHTS began to enjoy himself and continued.

_There are times when you are down. All you can do is try to find,_

_That very spark of light!_

_High school drama, stay-home mamma_

_Or it could be, the longest saga!_

_Cause when you look inside, THE SPARK OF HOPE WILL SHIMMER BRIIIIIGHT!_

The Director's frown slowly turned upwards, as did the music as NiGHTS' courage increased, eliminating any stage fright.

_If you think, that your on the brink._

_And you have nowhere else to turn._

_Then listen here, to make it clear._

_Just look for the SPARK OF LIGHT!_

_High school drama, stay-home mamma_

_Or it could be, a dirty llama_

_But when you look inside, THE SPARK OF HOPE WILL SHIMMER BRIIIIIGHT!_

The Director grinned, he thought he finally found the voice for his movie. But NiGHTS wasn't done yet. He added some of his own lines.

_From dreams to nightmares, there is the dark there._

_And then you cant run anywhere._

_But then you close your eyes and try to smile_

_When you look for that SPARK OF LIGHT!_

_I've been through pain, ive felt the burn._

_The darkness reins, the light I yearn._

_But then again, all I do is look inside_

_FOR THAT VERY SPARK OF LIGHT!_

_High school drama, stay-home mamma_

_Maybe its, a dieing grandma_

_But when you look inside, THE SPARK OF HOPE WILL SHIMMER BRIGHT!_

_WHEN THE LIGHT SHIMMERS BRIGHT, THE DARKNESS WILL SURLEY FLEE_

_ITS NOT SO HARD, AND NOW YOU SEE._

_THE LIGHT OF HOPE THAT SHINES BRIIIIIGHT!_

NiGHTS proceeded to slide on his knees, acting a guitar solo. The Director was to tears on how beautifully NiGHTS sang. He cut everyone else he saw off the list, this jester dude was his new star!

_HIGH SCHOOL DRAMMA, STAY-HOME MAMMA_

_MAYBE IT'S ANOTHER TRAUMA._

_BUT WHEN YOU LOOK INSIDE FOR…that…spark of…liiiiiiight. _

NiGHTS finished the song off, taking a bow as the director sat there, marveled and speechless. "CANCEL MY MEETINGS, HOLD MY CALLS, AND DIVORCE MY WIFE! WE GOT US A STAR!" The director shouted at his lackeys who scratched out meetings, disconnected phones, and threw the directors wife out the window.

NiGHTS grinned, if only he had done that years ago.

-Nightmare: Reala's house-

Reala boredly flipped through the channels filled with pointless soap operas, cartoons, movies, and that Wiseman show. Reala was unemployed, and was going insane from not killing anything for 3 days. He nibbled on the crust of a pizza, wishing that the delicious marinara would turn into blood. He tossed it to the side, landing it in a box full of crusts. "C'mon Reala, your not that weak." Reala said sadly, looking at a hand mirror. He noticed that he was loosing his bluish tint. He was getting paler, and his redness was a duller color.

"I cant go like this, I wanted to die by rabid fans. I don't wanna be like Jackle, him and his insane cackle. Heh heh… that rhymes" Reala grinned, cackling insanely. He then gasped, he was going insane again! "To think, I was as evil as a sniffle… EVIL AS A SNIFFLE?! I can't even make an evil simile anymore!" Reala became nervous, staring at the pizza boxes that formed into different shapes.

His vision became distorted, he began seeing strange things and colors. The pizza boxes turned into… submarines?! Reala backed away as a soothing song began playing.

_In the time, that I was born._

_Lived a man, who sailed to sea._

_And he told us of his life, in the land of submarines._

_So we sailed onto the sun, till we found a sea of green_

_And we lived under the waves._

_In our yellow, submarine._

Reala's eyes widened, backing away from the submarine and falling off the edge of a multicolored cliff.

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine. _

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine_

Reala landed in a large purple ocean, desperately trying to stay afloat as pink elephants flew above next to grinning gooses.

_And our friends are all aboard._

_Many more of them, live next door_

_And the band, begins to play_

Reala grabbed onto something solid only to find that it was a large tuba playing strange music, he let go as he was sent down a drain into a free-fall.

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine_

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine_

_As we live, a life of ease_

_Every one of us, has all we need._

_Sky of blue, and sea of green_

_In our yellow, submarine_

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine_

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine_

_We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine_

Reala panicked and fell on a purple shore only to find that it was NiGHTS. "You are losing your mind-mind-mind. You will find yourself reading the same thing over and over. You will find yourself reading the same thing over and over. You will find yourself reading the same thing over and over. That means you, reader. And you too Reala. You are under my spell!" NiGHTs groaned in an undead way. Reala jumped off the giant NiGHTS only to land on Jackle.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SOON YOU WILL BE JUST LIKE ME! ONE OF MEEEEEEEE! AHAHAHAHA!" Jackle let out a maniac laugh, throwing a large card with a joker printed on it. But it wasn't any joker. It was Reala! The Reala joker came out of the card, a large deranged grin on its face. The fake Reala soon turned demented into a large evil clown. But it was staring right at YOU!

X.X.X.X.X.X

Wiseman raised a.. Err, eyebrow at Reala who was shivering on the ground with his eyes rolled back. He was drooling uncontrollably and was murmuring about NiGHTS, cards, and submarines. "Poor guy, must be the lack of blood… heh, it's pretty funny" Wiseman grinned, placing the job application on the counter for when Reala snapped out of it.

"We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOOOOOUUUUUUU!" Reala cackled, scraping his feet with his hat.

-Jackle's room-

It was another day in Jackle's room. Rook was over, making sure he took his medicine. "I DON'T WANNA LEAVE THE MATRIX! NO MORE PLUTONIUM!" Jackle screamed as Rook shoved the pills down Jackle's mouth. He instantly calmed down and plopped on the ground. "Whole grains, minerals, healthy exercise, and medical pills have made Jackle into the happy person I is today" Jackle smiled calmly. He grabbed a toy car and started to roll it on the ground with a calm smile on his face.

Rook sighed, jumping on Jackle's bed and popping open a bag of Nachies (Nightmare's famous nachos in a bag). "That entire bottle should hold him for about 15 minutes" Rook sighed as Jackle quietly admired a rock. Rook took out a razor sharp checkers piece and threw it on the roof, allowing it to join the thousands of other razor sharp casino chips, cards, and checkers pieces stuck on the roof.

This one, however knocked over another checkers piece and sent it falling to a shelf that knocked over some poker trophies that slammed over some books that in turn knocked over a bowling ball that slammed into poor Jackle's head. Rook gasped, running over to make sure that the bowling ball wasn't scratched…what? Jackle survived harder conks on the head… right? Jackle raised from his hit, holding his head in pain.

"Ow, what happened?" Jackle asked, shaking the injury off. "You got hit by a- wait, did you just say something normal Jackle?!" Rook asked surprised. "Who's Jackle? Am I Jackle?" Jackle wondered, examining Rook from head to toe.

Rook blinked and opened his mouth to say something but didn't. He had managed to do what Wiseman couldn't, make Jackle sane! Sure he lost some memory but that could be fixed… and to his liking! "Yep, your Jackle the gamer. See for yourself" Rook grabbed an empty mirror pane and held it in front of him and Jackle to make It look like he was Jackle's reflection.

Jackle moved his hand, and so did Rook in attempt to trick Jackle into being a gamer. Rook began to get cocky and sang

_HEY! Feast your eyes! Look into the mirror it never lies. _

_Yer a gamer cant you see that this aint your disguise. _

_You live to play, and customiiiiiise._

_Yer reflection tells the story of a gamer's life of glory_

_Trust your eyes. My high scores never lie_

Jackle did a small jig, as did Rook. Jackle began to sing as well

_How could this be? I think I recall, some insanity_

_Now I see a gamer grinning in front of me._

_With checkered skin and cat-like eyes, what a surpriiiiise._

_My reflection tells the story of a gamer's life of glory_

_Trust my eyes. The high scores never lie!_

Rook and Jackle broke out into a large dance, though Jackle tripped and slammed his head against a piano. Rook winced, stopping the music and going to check on Jackle. " Are you ok?" Rook asked, hoping he was still a gamer… or alive. Jackle stood up and raised a finger. "BUTTERSCOTCH!" Jackle screamed, grinning happily.

Rook blinked and slapped himself. All that dancing for nothing. Jackle cackled and skipped off to jump on his bed. Rook got out the pills and readied for a long night.

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Songs: NiGHTS: Spark of hope, written by Lex (me)

Reala: Yellow Submarine, written by The Beatles

Jackle: The High scores never lie, remixed by Lex. Original written by Nintendo I guess.

Reviews are adored, flames are ignored. And any suggestions for other chapters or character inclusion.

Jackle: YELLOW SUBMARINES!


	4. Factories, Hotels, and ufo catchers

101 nights of randomness

Ello, hows it going for ya? Yer old pall Lex is here –dodges bricks- uh right, here's the ever-so marvelous disclaimer

Disclaimer: I don't own NiGHTs, Jackle, or Reala. If I did there would be thousands of games and movies based on them.

Claimer: At least Rook is mine, if you want to use him in a fic or something just ask, k? Oh, and so is Devi in Reala's part.

Hope you all enjoy the new chapter.

101 Nights of randomness: candy, bellhops, and arcades

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-Waking world: 11:32 Hollywood-

NiGHTS took a bow as he finished his song, but then his world became blurry, the room began to spin and he awoke. "Neh-wha?" NiGHTS mumbled as he sat up. He was on the roof of a nursery where he got nauseous from the fumes of the smog pouring out of the chimney. "Aww, I thought I was a star…" NiGHTS sighed. He flew into the air and pondered why he was having a dream in the first place.

Nightmaren don't have dreams… right? Maybe in the waking world it was different. NiGHTs popped another one of those addicting jawbreakers into his mouth. There was something about this one though. He stuck his tongue out and saw that there was a slip of paper in the jawbreaker. "Uh…okay" NiGHTS said as he broke the jawbreaker open to read the parchment.

_CONGRATULATIONS!_

_You have won a free trip inside frilly bonka's candy factory! Present this at the gates and prepare to see the works of this brilliant man!_

NiGHTS' eyes lit up, a candy factory! What fun it would be to get to meet the man behind the delicious candies. He wasted no time and began to fly to the address listed. "Lets see. 14253 gumball ave should be right around-" NiGHTS slammed right into a large fence, getting electrocuted and sent slamming into the ground.

"Owies" NiGHTS groaned standing up. Good thing the other four people didn't notice him as they were too busy watching the gates open and reveal the owner of the factory. It was… Jackle?! Yes the insane maren strode down a stairway wearing an orange frilly suit and cape. He held a long orange cane with a curved end, and he had a monocle as well (the thingy that fancy people put on one eye for some reason). On top of his jester hat was a shiny top hat, making him look like a certain game villain (My most frequent reviewer might get this one right). The insane maren grinned and fell down the stairs landing in front of them.

"Welcome, guests to my sugary factory! I am your tour guide, the great Frilly Bonka himself!" Jackle bowed with a grin, escorting everyone into the factory. NiGHTS ran up to Jackle "what are you doing here?" NiGHTS asked, wondering if he had gotten too nauseous. "Im hiding from Rook, just go along with it" Jackle muttered

His gigantic grin reappeared as he opened a door to where a large white waterfall flowed in a river through tubes. Candy was being grown; trees full of lollypops grew everywhere and were watered with chocolate. "Here is where a lot of the candy is made. The trees are edible, the walls are made of cake, and that waterfall is made of liquid sugar.

Every fat kid who won –which was only one- jumped into the waterfall and was sucked into a tube. NiGHTS raised his eyebrow and dipped his finger in the sugar to taste it. In had a very sour taste, definitely not sugar. He went along with the group though as they left to a room full of lemonheads. "Here we have our Slav-er, friends the chumpy-lumpies package the candies" Jackle grinned, waving his cane at the orange little midgets. "Can we try some out of the box?!" a little boy asked as he peered over the edge of the level that they were on.

"Sure" Jackle smiled, then kicked the boy off the platform "KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, LITERALLY! HAHAHAHAHA-uh, ahem. Lets move on" Jackle straitened up and lead the group to another room. NiGHTS looked at the Chumpy-Lumpies and one looked back at him. A closer look showed that it wasn't a chumpy or a lumpy, it was a Nightopian!

"Chumpy-Lumpy, gobblee gee. Why wont you came and save me? Goomba, pumbaa comity fats. Master Jackle has a big a-" The Nightopian was knocked off the platform by another one. "NO SINGING IN THE FACTORY!" the Nightopian screamed, and then continued to pack the candy.

NiGHTS stared, but then followed the group to a large room, which had a red color scheme. "Here we test the newer and unsafe candies." Jackle grinned as he pointed his cane directly at a bunch of 'Chumpy-Lumpies' eating candy. "What's so dangerous about candy?" a girl asked. "It's very strange candy. Watch" Jackle said, handing her a long bendable candy. She gobbled it up instantly as Jackle had a smirk plastered on his face.

There was a large puff of smoke came out of nowhere, but once it cleared the girl… WAS A GUY! "Like it? I call it 'Filly's Gender benders. I can't get rid of a certain… kink" Jackle grinned as the girl/boy gasped and swelled up, then exploded sending gumballs and lollipops flying everywhere.

Jackle broke into a long cackle, the other two people who one (including NiGHTS) backed away slowly until Jackle got a hold of himself again. "Okay, Im better. Let's see what's down this corner here" Jackle sighed to get control as he led the two winners down a long narrow yellow corridor. "Now in that room is the worlds first highly concentrated Jawbreakers." Jackle grinned. The maren swung his cape and pressed a button on his cane.

The door opened as NiGHTS' eyes widened. There was a gigantic Jawbreaker in the center of the room, surrounded in a bright aura of light. Around it were thousands of delicious jawbreakers. There was a chorus singing as NiGHTS wiped a tear from his eyes, words could not express the feeling of joy he was having. The chorus suddenly stopped as Jackle kicked a stereo out the window.

"Well there's nothing interesting about jawbreakers, so let's keep going." Jackle said as he continued down the corridor. NiGHTS was about to go, but he turned around and faced the door. He opened it and stared at the marvelous jawbreakers while unknowingly floating towards them. There was silence until NiGHTS grabbed one and began to eat it. He gagged and emidiatly spat it out because of a horrifying sour and bitter taste.

NiGHTS scrapped his tongue and left the jawbreaker room, going back down the corridor to follow Jackle. "So we reached the end of the tour. Any questions?" Jackle asked with his grin still plastered on his face. The last dreamer not to be killed raised his hand "can I use the bathroom?" the boy asked. "Sure, first door on your right. The one that says 'DANGER'" Jackle said. The boy nodded and ran off into the room, there was an explosion.

"Okay Jackle, I got one for you. Is this really a candy factory?" NiGHTS asked. "Well NiGHTS, it used to be a candy factory. Until I found that idiot Frilly and sent him TO HIS DOOM! Now it's a factory, but it makes… TUNA WITH BEANS!" Jackle let out a roar of laughter as the Chumpy-Lumpies pounced NiGHTS with evil little smiles on their faces.

…………And that's when NiGHTS awoke on the roof of a nursery, the smog from the chimney was altering NiGHTS dreams. "Neh-Wha? It was a dream?" NiGHTS groaned. He sat up on the roof, feeling something in his pocket other than jawbreakers. He pulled it out and saw it was a card with Jackle's face on it. In red cursive letters it said:

Come to Jackle's candy factory, I'll be waiting for you… It was holographic when NiGHTS moved it up and down; Jackle's head seemed to be laughing. The purple maren pocketed the card with a shiver and flew into the air. Maybe Hollywood wasn't the best place for him… or Jackle.

-Nightmare hotel-

Nightmare hotel, the five star hotel with 180 floors full of service. The policy was 'If you don't like it, neither do we' which of course made no sense because if you hated blueberry jam doesn't mean that the hotel would hate it. But anyway, Reala had gotten a job as the worst thing for a hotel.

"Now Reala, the rank goes as follows. Manager-that's me-, assistant manager, head service officer, room service, chefs, janitors, night watchman, and Bellhop-that's you" Wiseman said, poking Reala in the chest and throwing him a black uniform. Reala groaned as he slipped on the vest and cap.

"Whatever you do, do NOT screw this up or I will not resist punishing you dearly" Wiseman boomed, holding a yellow submarine model that made Reala shiver. He headed to his office to watch security videos on his pc. Reala growled as he pined his nametag on and waited for someone to come…and waited…and waited… and waited. Reala sighed, taking out a paddle ball to play with when suddenly there was a 'ding'.

"BELLHOP!" Wiseman roared, somehow popping up from nowhere behind the counter. Reala ran up to the counter with a salute. "Yes Wiseman, sir?" he asked trying to seem smart to get a raise quicker. "Take this bag up to the 163rd floor, room 7b. And hurry" Wiseman ordered, pointing at a small bag on the floor.

Reala scoffed, grabbing the bag from the handle and lifting it, though it immediately fell and slammed directly on Reala's toe. The evil maren jumped up and down in pain holding his foot while screaming insanities. When he finished his screaming he lifted the bag with all his might and lugged it to the elevator. "HOLD IT! Elevator is for guests only, take the stairs." Wiseman boomed, shutting the elevator.

Reala growled, trudging to the stairs and taking it one step at a time. It was a heavy bag, too heavy for him to fly with. Reala winced as he almost fell over. It took him several long minutes to reach floor 163, but he made it. "I better get good pay for this" Reala growled to himself as he knocked on the door of 7b.

The door opened, revealing it to be a small green Nightmaren jester who had booked the room. He wore a small white robe with 'Wii' written on it, and a small ball floated above his head for reasons unexplained. The robe had a jewel in the center that pulsated from purple to green to red a few times. A small waist bag tied onto him, bulging with items that were crammed into it.

"Here's your luggage, what do you have in there, rocks?" Reala asked setting down the small bag. "No of course not." The little maren smiled as he opened the bag and pulled out several anvils "Hey, I don't tell you hows to live your life." The maren giggled, then slammed the door.

Reala blinked and walked back down the stairs, but when he took a step he found his feet tied together with a rope. It was too late as he tumbled down the stairs painfully, landing with a smack at the foot of the stairs. Reala growled as he heard the maren giggling from the top of the stairs. "IM GONNA- wait, it's a mere child. I should not waste my time on-" Reala was cut off as a large anvil landed on his head.

High pitched cackling was heard from the top of the stairs as Reala lost the little patience that he had, zooming up the stairs to the room that the maren was hiding in. "OPEN UP!" Reala roared, pounding on the door. "Who is it?" the high pitched voice came from in the room. "It's Santa, Im early. OPEN UP!" Reala screamed once more.

The door opened and just as Reala was going to pounce he smacked into a brick wall. The wall lifted and the maren cackled in delight before slamming the door on Reala's head. The evil maren growled and drove his claws through the door and ripped it out of its hinges, diving for the little maren. The child winked and waved his foot, suddenly there was a poof of red smoke.

Reala coughed and hacked until the smoke cleared. HE seemed to be fine, other than he had been turned into a black rabbit. It wore off fast though and he was returned to a bellhop, though the bunny ears were still there.

Reala glared at them until they poofed away and he finally gave chase after the child. "No one makes a mockery of me, for I am REALA!" he scowled, seeing the child at the end of the corridor. "You can't match the tricky power of… DEVI THE MAGICIAN!" Devi, apparently the child, cackled and jumped into a broom closet.

(Character profile: meet Devi, the tricky little guy that you want to get on your side. He has various spells at his disposal to humiliate you, but otherwise is powerless. His favorite spell for some odd reason is the gender change spell, a confusing but effective spell. The closer you are, the longer and more powerful the spell is. His weaknesses are his size most notably, he also has a small case of Trypanophobia which is the fear of needles and if a female was beautiful enough he would e distracted from most things. Oh, and he had Autophobia, meaning he was scared to be alone for long periods of time.)

Reala flew over to the closet and opened the door, finding Devi on the other side ready for him. He flicked his wrist, causing another poof that surrounded Reala, again. When it cleared away, Reala had a sailor suit on with a small hat on his head. Reala's temper increased horribly, turning back into a bell hop he chased after Devi like Jackle after mustard.

Devi grinned and set another poof, cloning himself and running into three rooms. Reala followed the one closest to him. Devi sat in the middle of the room with a grin as there was another poof. Reala now had eyes on the palm of his hands and two heads. The clone disappeared when the spell wore off.

Reala went to the second room, finding another clone that turned him into a cow with ten legs. The spell wore off fast, as all species change spells do without a charm. The clones had been very able to cast spells on their own, that Devi was an annoying little bugger.

He ripped off the door to the last room finding the real Devi. Reala grabbed him with his yellow claws of doom; about to rip his throat out when there was another poof this one was a bigger one though.

Reala coughed madly watching Devi grin as he felt himself changing again. As the smoke cleared Reala looked in a nearby wall mirror and gasped out of surprise and rage. In the mirror was a cute maren girl, wearing a crimson tank top and extremely high jean shorts, but not high enough to make this an M rated fic (This is why I rated the fic T, XD). Blond hair spilled from under his... err, her jester hat and ended at her shoulders. But what sealed the deal was his chest had inflated enormously and he couldn't feel a certain appendage.

Reala couldn't even recognize himself in the mirror, the shock on his now thinner lips turned into a scowl and he growled at Devi. "Hey, I think you look fabulous. Oh, and since you were touching me during the spell, its gonna last a while." Devi cackled, smacking Reala on the bottom before running for his dear life.

Reala literally burst into flames with anger, darting after Devi like a bullet. Devi never stood a chance to run away from the great and stronger Reala as he was easily cornered between a wall and a crazy he/she. "Uh, STAY BACK! I know kung-fu!" Devi said weakly. "When Im done with you, I swear you will have the rest of your life with your neck twisted and stuck to the back of your foot!" Reala cracked his knuckles as he approached menacingly.

Devi shivered, but he then got an idea. He flicked his wrist and poofed away through the floor to the generator room where all the power that went through the building was stored. Reala dug through the floor with a powerful kick, ignoring everyone who stared as he landed in the generator room. Devi stood right in front of the generator as Reala pounced in a fiery blast.

But the little magician was fast and poofed away right before Reala could hit, causing him to slam into the generator. There was a bright flash as the hotel exploded just before Devi poofed back. The strength of the blast was strong enough to reverse Devi's spell and revert Reala back to his bell hop outfit, no feminine things about him. Wiseman popped out of nowhere as Devi disappeared behind him.

"REEEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLAAAAAAAA!" Wiseman roared, scaring Reala out of his wits as he hid behind a wall of debris. It seemed like when he wanted to be in a disguise he couldn't. Devi peeked out from behind Wiseman before scampering behind the debris. "Get the hell away from me before I rip your head out!" Reala growled in a whispered voice not to be heard by Wiseman who was tearing apart the debris on the ground to find him.

"Hold still" Devi said as there was a poof, Reala was in the form he was a few moments ago. He was about to rip Devi limb from tiny limb when Wiseman teared apart the debris. "Have you seen a bellhop somewhere, ma'am?" Wiseman growled, searching the place with his giant hands. "We have, that nice bell hop that brought us our bags. He was very helpful in helping me with my homework, and helping mommy unpack and stuff. Can we come back here when they fix it all up mommy?" Devi asked with a Childs voice, referring to Reala as his 'mommy' "go along with it" he whispered just loud enough for the maren to hear.

"Why of course we can dear, we can come next time we're in these parts. If you see that nice bell hop, thank him for me" Reala smiled, stabbing him mentally as the jester pair left from the wreckage. As soon as they were out of sight and earshot Devi removed the spell. "Now we're even, so don't kill me or I WILL make it permanent." Devi smiled, sitting on the ground. "Why did you do that? You should have left and reign in your evil mischievous revenge." Reala asked.

"Well two things real, can I call you real? Anyways one, your fun to hang around. And two you're the best result with my gender change spell." Devi grinned as Reala sighed. Hey, Devi might have been young but boys will be boys. Especially if he had learned of such things at an early age.

"Oh, and just so ya know. Your stuck with me now cause Im not leaving. WE'LL BE BESTEST BUDDIES FOREVER!" Devi screamed happily. That one word echoed in Reala's mind. Forever…forever…forever… he'd rather have NiGHTS back.

-Arcade Aardvark-

The wackiest arcade ever, arcade aardvark was the most fun arcade ever known to Nightmaren. There were tons of games to play, all for coins that you get beforehand. And guess who got a large jar full of coins? "LES PLAY THE BIG DANCE MACHINE!" Jackle screamed as he dashed to a large dance machine labeled 'Very Funky Dance' but why was the name so familiar? Rook had gotten dragged along with Jackle because he wasn't allowed in without being watched by an expert in the field of Jackleoligy.

Jackle poured in coins until the machine dinged and allowed him one play. "Hey Jackle, bet you can't get past Ultra mode" Rook pointed out. "I CAN TOO!" Jackle screamed back, setting it to the hardest difficulty ever played: Ultra mode. The last one who played that mode had his feet melted off from the intensity. Jackle laughed as the song was set, and the immediate moment after, billions of arrows began to flash across the screen at once.

Rook grinned, when Jackle lost his feet he would be easier to catch. Impressed gasps caused him to snap out of fantasies and watch Jackle. He was shocked; Jackle's feet were a blur on the dance pad, getting a continuous combo of 'Awesome' scores on the dance machine. The screen was a flurry off only arrows, the word 'Awesome' and Jackle's score that rose at near speed of light.

By the time that Rook had taken all that information in, the machine overloaded and exploded. Thousands of coins rained on the insane maren, who caught them in a sub-space bag. Rook blinked, finding it hard to believe that his best friend (a.k.a his only friend) had beaten Ultra mode. "I WANNA PLAY ON THE OTHER GAME!" Jackle cheered as he ran over to a large game with Rook in tow.

It was a 'dinosaur battle' simulator, y'know the ones that you shoot dinosaurs for no real reason. Jackle jumped in, dragging Rook in to be player two. There were two plastic guns in front of the screen, Rook took the blue one while Jackle the red. After he poured in eight coins the game began.

"Lets try hard mode! WITH MUSTARD!" Jackle grinned as he whipped out a bucket of mustard and shot the 'hard' difficulty. The screen in front of them changed to a jungle setting as the 'vehicle' moved around. Suddenly raptors popped out of nowhere. Rook aimed but Jackle was fast and shot them before Rook even noticed.

"PH33R ME!" Jackle laughed as he shot each and every dinosaur before Rook could even see it. Then it got interesting, a giant T-Rex popped onto the screen, but to Rook's amassment, Jackle shot the t-rex before it could even roar. The game was over before it started, showing Jackle with a finishing score of 1824225 and Rook with 0. "LET'S TRY SOMETHING ELSE!" Jackle clapped his hands and ran off to a crane machine. Rook sighed, throwing the plastic gun at the screen and walking over to Jackle.

The insane marren's eyes gleamed as he saw the most awesome plush that he ever saw. He held his hands up to the glass of the machine, looking directly at a small Miles Tails Prower plush toy (Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog). He threw coins into the machine until he had enough and began to play it. "Those things are rigged, y'know" Rook frowned with his arms crossed, checking a clock on the wall in hopes that the place would close soon so he could get back to practicing Wii-fu.

"Yeah, but these are UFO catchers! The best in the world of mayonnaise." Jackle slammed a red button, sending the claw down onto the Tails plush. It gripped, but Tails slipped out of the claw when it closed. Jackle screamed as he put in about 200 coins for some more tries. This time he aimed forward and grabbed Tails by the head. He slipped again.

Jackle became furious and sent the claw after Tails' namesakes. No dice, the namesakes slipped again. "Maybe we should try another machine" Rook suggested. Jackle became angry at the machine, every time he got him, Tails would slip away as he always did. "RAAAAAA!" Jackle began mumbling obsanities in French as Rook walked away and began to play on another claw machine in the backround.

Jackle moved the claw to the left and right, kicked the machine, put more coins in, banged his head against the wall, took a nap, tried again, preformed an ancient claw machine ritual, even juggled coins to attempt to please the so called 'claw machine gods'. During all this, Rook had used his natural gamer instinct and won toy after toy after toy. The Wii-fanatic maren went back to Jackle who had no luck at getting Tails.

Rook on the other hand had gotten eight Sonic dolls, five Knuckles, four Amy, seven Shadow, nine Silver the hedgehog gloves, twenty seven Mario hats, a Luigi hat, a plush star, three fire flowers, a plastic hammer, hello kitty glasses, a 48K gold statue of Mr. Game and watch, A live shrunken pikachu the size of a quarter, an army of pikmin in a glass, all of solid snakes weapons, a new hat, a Samus suit, a master chief helmet, a cooking with Kirby book, Sonic speed shoes, five Wii remotes, a PS3, an unlucky orange parka, a chibi plushy of Shigeru Miyamanto, a caged live chao called scruffy, and several books speaking about Volunteer Fire Departments.

Jackle had just one coin left and he wasn't going to stop "Want me to do it?" Rook asked, setting down his things one by one in a subspace pocket. He let Scruffy the chao out for air though. "No, it is my destiny of the hot sauce to get that toy. I SHAL FACE MY DESTINY!" Jackle stood strait with pride, putting in that last coin.

Rook watched as Jackle moved the claw left, then up, then back right and down. He made several complicated movements as 'the good, the bad, and the ugly' played in the backround. Rook looked behind him and saw an orchestra. He shrugged and decided to conduct it. Jackle frowned as a single sweat ran down his invisible face. The claw went down, and clamped directly on Tails. Jackle jumped with glee as it moved toward the prize gate and the claw opened…

But Tails was stuck by the price tag on the claw. Jackle gasped as he was about to fall over but then Tails did the falling, right into Jackle's claws. Rook searched through sheet music and found the perfect song. 'We are the champions began to play' as Jackle danced in slow motion with a grin on his face. Balloons fell from the roof and confetti flew. Rook noticed something and stopped the music "Jackle, you have a toy exactly like that one at home." Rook said. Jackle looked at the toy "oh yeah" he shrugged and threw the toy into the nearest trash bin.

"Let's go get a burger" Rook suggested, leaving the arcade with Jackle. Scruffy the chao picked the Tails toy out of the trash bin and cleaned it off before pocketing it.

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So was it good? Hmm? Well review and tell me.

Reviews are adored, flames are ignored. Ad to you I bid farewell till next update

Jackle: EVERYBODY CAN CAN!


	5. ships, chefs, and computers

Ello kiddies, teens, and people with no lives. Welcome to my most updated fic, 101 Nights of randomness. Just to let you know, Devi will be popping up sometimes to make things interesting.

Disclaimer: I don't own NiGHTS, Jackle, Reala, or Wiseman. Sad but true, I'll never wear their hats moment of silence ANYWAYS, moving on.

Claimer: Rook and Devi are my fan charries. If you want to use them please ask first and I'll happily let you use them in movies, fictions, pictures, circuses, costumes, parties, balloons, basically everything. Oh, and you can't 'Borrow' Devi's robe.

Let's start the new chapter. Might wanna get all pointed objects away from you. Keep your hands and feet inside your chair at all times even during laughing fits. Do not read this fiction if you are allergic to comedy. If any cases of the giggles are followed, write a review right away. Do not feed the Jackle and avoid all eye contact with him. Lex is not responsible for car accidents, choking; wild fits of laughter during class and/or work, or addiction to jawbreakers.

Oh, and one more thing. Never spay or neuter your Wii console. It has feelings too.

101 Nights of randomness: Ships, Chefs, and the magic of the PC.

-Sydney harbor. 11:00 PM.-

There are many things that you would find interesting about Australia. The people, the clothes, the food, the kangaroos, the flying jesters. Yep everything was in perfect order other than NiGHTS being there. Now what was the Nightmaren doing at Sydney when there was a 50 off sale at a Gamers Pit Stop Shop somewhere in the polluted country of America? Well NiGHTS was floating right above the clear water of Sydney, far enough from harbor so that no one would call Ghostbusters on him or something. He was doing none other than watching a small paper sailboat float across the water.

It was a rather relaxing thing really to just think about life sometimes when over a clear sea with a small breeze and a jawbreaker. Oh, and the ravenous sea monsters and fish that were planning to rip him limb-from-limb. He ran a finger through the water as he pondered life and why he thought Jackle owned a candy factory.

Just as he was getting to answer that himself, the paper sailboat unfolded and turned into a flat plumber wearing a red hat. The red clad plumber ran away with a small robotic butterfly following him along with a small mushroom thing.

A blue spiky animal followed the plumber, screaming about a Brawl or the Olympics or high priced tacos. NiGHTS' eyes widened, but then as he began to relax again he was run over by a large ship that promptly tapped a pebble on the floor of the sea and cracked in half. "Owies" NiGHTS surfaced from the water, spitting out a sponge, pineapple, a starfish, and …Nemo?

NiGHTS was bonked on the head by something sharp all of the sudden. He looked up and saw another boat cruising by with some fisherman casting their lines. One of them caught a catfish that slapped NiGHTS with its tail when it was reeled up. Before he could protest, a hook caught his hat and pulled it away. The Jester frowned, flying up and snatching his hat back, leaving a fisherman staring. Not everyday a flying purple thingy steals what you caught.

As NiGHTS adjusted his hat back, he saw another ship crossing through the water. Curious, he landed on the deck and watched as about twenty sailors dance with mops. Their movements were all in perfect match as if they shared the same brain, dancing while singing about a life at sea. One sailor got confused and instead of twirling left, he twirled right.

"STOOOOOOOOP!" A captain screamed, scampering over to the said sailor and smacking him. "Its step, left twirl, swab, right twirl, kick, jump, pirouette, and pose. That's not hard to remember! From the top people, let's go." The captain sighed, clapping his hands as the rest of the crew got back into starting position. The sailor who messed up ran away weeping about never getting to Broadway.

NiGHTS lost his interest in the crew and saw another ship sailing with a skull on the sail. The maren got curious again and headed to that ship seeing a few people on the crew wearing clothing from the 1800's. "So what did you find, captain?" one man asked to another who was apparently the captain. "I found this!" the captain grinned as if the Rum he was holding had gone to his head.

He was holding a folded paper, crumpled up and horribly yellow. "Is it a map?" a girl asked, intent on finding out what it was so she could get back to whatever she was doing. "Shut up. Its much more betters. It's a drawing of a key for a map!" the captain said as he unfolded the paper. Indeed it was a drawing of a key, a very bad drawing that looked like the captain had drawn it with crayon in a hurry to not go on his mission.

"Though my unfortunate meeting of the Very Frilly Dimwit has alerted him and he has sent minions against us. They'll be here in about… now" The captain slurred. Right on cue, plenty of Chumpy Lumpies pounced on the crew, causing a mass panic. "OH MY GAWRSH! RAISE THE ANCHOR, SET A COURSE SOUTH! HARD TO PORT! Uh… DO SOMETHING INTERESTING! AND DON'T TOUCH MY JAR OF PICKLES!" the captain cackled, but was knocked overboard and swallowed by a large Kraken squid.

NiGHTS would have been excited if he had paid attention to the ship instead of counting his slender fingers. "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12… wait that can't be right. Uh, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8…" NiGHTS soon lost interest with counting and flew to another boat to watch what was going on. He saw it completely empty, well the deck anyway. As he landed he saw some cheatoes scattered on the floor and a captain's hat made entirely of bacon.

"I don't even want to know" NiGHTS began but was interrupted by a flying sugar bowl whizzing past his head along with a tall ugly man with a tattoo on his ankle. To make things stranger he found a shoe attached to a foot attached to a leg attached to a body attached to a jester outfit … oh wait, that was his shoe. Deciding to leave the ship before the crew found him; NiGHTS took off into the air only to be struck by that evil lightning.

-Nightmare. Restaurant-

Oh the joy of the Bistro Restaurant, where the meals were always hot and the steak was the best. Now Nightmaren don't have to eat much, but that doesn't mean that they can't taste the juicy steaks and the refreshing soda pop and wine. Reala had been taken into the said restaurant to do something that could change it forever.

"hurry up with that steak, our customer has to have it perfect and warm. GET TO IT!" the head chef boomed to none other than Reala. He had donned a white chef's outfit with the silly hat to go with it. Reala tried his best not to drop the steak he worked so hard on to make medium rare as he set it on a plate and dripped the juice over it to make it all fancy-ish. "Now go and deliver it before it gets cold. I will be in the other room making sure everything is working perfect." The head chef boomed once more before leaving. Oh, and the chef was Wiseman incase you didn't guess.

Reala mumbled horrid things under his breath and picked up the plate to deliver to the customer on one of the more Aristocrat tables. He dodged through the tables balancing a large casserole dish on the plate with his fingers. How he ever managed that was beyond him. Though when he saw who the customer was, he nearly dropped it.

It was none other than Devi! Yes the little annoying guy was actually there sitting at the Aristocrat table chatting with a female maren (equally small, maybe they weren't maren at all. Maybe they were that 'chao' thing… or not.). He was dressed up rather suave, with a smooth tux complete with a small red bowtie that just made him even more innocent looking. He wasn't wearing his maren hat, and Reala had seen that his hair was spiked back similar to hedgehog quills with orange dabs at the ends. A few tufts of hair were in the front that apparently wouldn't stay down.

"Oh Hi Reala, what a pleasant surprise seeing you here. Well actually you told me about this job in the first place but I never thought you would actually work here." Devi smiled. Reala felt like saying something, then felt like throwing him out the window, but then decided against it. "Well anyways we'll have one of those turkey thanksgivings what-cha-ma-call-its." It occurred to Reala that the female maren must have been a date… or a brainwashed one.

Reala left without a word in slight fear that he would get uncontrollable and rib Devi's adorable little head off… wait, adorable? UGH! That annoying brat was getting to his head. Reala entered the kitchen and looked through the storage for a turkey. "Hmm. Chicken, steak, rice, beans, pears, steak, apples, steak, oranges and more steak." Reala listed the objects as he found them but there was no turkey. It looked like he would need to catch one from the field when suddenly he spotted a curled up turkey in the corner.

"Good, last one." Reala reached for the poultry when it suddenly squawked and pecked him in the face, running away from him. Reala gave chase to the bird, claws ready to stab it. It ran out of the storage room and into the kitchen, squishing a small rat chef. Reala continued to run after it since there was too little room to fly. The turkey knocked over pots and pans, as did Reala. Once it passed by a boiling pot, Reala had pounced too early and slammed head first onto it.

He ran screaming in pain as the renegade turkey destroyed everything in the kitchen. When Reala recovered, the turkey ran out to where the actual eating of the food was done. The evil maren flew after it now that there was room. He watched the turkey as it skittered around the floor knocking over tables. Reala was doing as much damage as the bird was, slicing the chandeliers in order not to slam into them.

Reala dive-bombed for the turkey, knocking it to the ground and rolling with it having a feather and claw fight. He finally threw the turkey into the air where it landed on Devi's plate. "Record time. Although it looks under cooked" Devi's date commented, poking at it with her fork.

Reala stood up strait and ripped off one of the turkey's legs and took a large bite. "hmmm, tastes fine to me" Reala answered, throwing the leg away and preparing for his punishment from Wiseman, putting on ear corks so he wouldn't go deaf from the horrid screaming.

-Jackle's Room-

"I WANT A FUZZY DEER NAMED CHARLIE! HE HAS RUGS FOR A SALAD DISH AND LIKES POP TARTS!" Jackle grinned at his own insanity and started to run up the walls, screaming about chair legs. Rook had occupied himself by throwing a rubber ball against the wall to prevent the insanity from getting to him. The ball was engraved with plenty of videogame stars, but that wasn't really important now was it?

There was a knock at the door and Jackle eagerly answered it to find someone from 'Fred-Ex express' waiting there with a large package. "Are you Jackle I. Crazaski?" the buff employee asked, checking a clipboard. "Oh you're here-"Jackle stopped to pull out a weasel from his pocket "-three fingers, sideways ballerina and don't skip on the pickles" Jackle instructed as he held the creature by the foot. "Right… can you sign for this?"

Jackle took the pen and began slashing away at the clipboard. When the employee looked at what he wrote, he had written his name in an elegant signature. The distinct curves of the writing showed the inner peace of the signer… either that or it was a bunch of scribbles.

"uh-huh." The employee promptly ran away never to return. Jackle dragged the large box inside, and once he opened it a gigantic computer popped out, a brand new Nightabyte 3000. "Whoa…" Rook started "Your last name is Crazaski?! That explains a lot" Rook looked over the computer as Jackle hid in the box it came in. "IM POPEYE THE SAILER MAN!" Jackle blew into a bubble pipe similar to the E-Coli infested sailor.

Rook turned on the computer and saw it was entirely up to him to customize it. "Jackle, get me my chip. This is gonna take a while" Rook grinned to himself as Jackle ran in circles with the box on his head. Rook frowned and decided it was all up to him to fill the computer with all the needs. He flicked his wrist causing a remote to appear. He pressed several buttons and did eye scans. Then it got even more complicated, his DNA was scanned, passwords were entered, questions were answered, go fish games were won, and several keys were involved too.

After all that effort, Rook simply put the security system to the side and pulled out a small chip from his pocket. It was white, with a distinct anime form of Rook and Jackle on the label. Why Jackle wanted to be in the picture was beyond him. Anyway he slid the chip into the computer and sparks began to fly. The room went dark; a cold chill ran through it. Sparks flew from the computer while a pipe Organ was played and Jackle snacked on some staplers.

Rook let out a bone chilling cackle as ghouls flew out of the computer, ghouls so ghastly that they could make Freddy Cougar cry for his mommy. Suddenly it all stopped as the PC screen showed all of the necessaries for a computer such as Limewire, Internet access, Virus block, PC games installed, and of course Nightmare Word. Rook decided to test it out, clicking the internet. That was the only click that he would regret.

"WUZZAT DO?!" Jackle screamed, pointing at the search page that had been accessed. "Something called the internet. It's a wonderful thing full of-" Rook was cut off as Jackle pressed random keys. He ended up searching 'HUZZY MOUTHWASH AND MR POTATOE FOOT BUNION CORD CREAM'.

Nothing came up, and Jackle tried again typing in 'FUZZY XYLOPHONE HIPPOES WITH CHEESE TACO SAUCE MAYONNAISE!' Again nothing popped up. Rook pushed him to the side for a moment to quit searching and go to a certain website. "Fanfiction? Wuzzat?" Jackle asked puzzled to what the magical site was. "Oh it's a place for stories. Read some while I grab a snack." And with that, Rook was gone.

Once Rook returned with two bags full of food, he found Jackle staring at the screen of the computer, occasionally clicking the mouse. "Jackle, think fast" Rook tossed him a bag of food, expecting Jackle to eat it whole like he always did. What happened though was that the bag splattered all over Jackle, who didn't care if he had a spewing hot potato on his head or that he was covered in cheese.

Instead he simply placed the objects back in the bag and set it aside. Rook was speechless; Jackle could never resist a hot potato dripped in cheese from 'The poison chicken'. He approached the reading maren with a delicious half-eaten double cheese burger in his hands. "Are you okay?" Rook asked, chewing on his burger quietly. "These stories are fascinating. The art of literature is amazing." Jackle said in awe. "Jackle, you can't read 'one fish, two fish' and now you're…not insane." Rook realized what had happened.

"…POTATO!" Jackle screamed as he came out of his senses and licked himself clean from the cheese. He began to write so much things into the computer that it couldn't handle so much at the same time. Youtube, Fanfiction, google, myspace, Limewire, Deviantart, and a bunch of about blank pages were too much. There was a large explosion and soon the computer was in ashes. Rook blinked and shrugged it off, finishing his burger before throwing the rubber ball against the wall once more.

-------------------

So how'd you like it eh? I wanted to do a full thanksgiving chapter but I could only think of Reala's thanksgiving. So yeah. Reveiws are adored, Flames are ignored. And until we meet again.

Jackle: HAPPY THANKSGIVINGS! SAVE ME SOME PIE!


	6. Christmas NiGHTS, and Reala, and Jackle

Christmas special!!! This is a two part story, Kay? So there will be a lot more of them that might unfortunately be after Christmas (sorry, I had so many ideas I didn't know which ones to do.).

Disclaimer: I don't own NiGHTS, Reala, or Jackle unfortunately… oh, and I don't own Wiseman either or any familiar characters to different series.

Claimer: I own Rook, Devi, and a few more charries that I won't mention right now to keep it a surprise. Oh, and the song that you'll see later is my own remix.

So with no further delay- oh hold on turns on excessive Christmas lights okay, now starts the first part of the Christmas special. The world is quiet here… or is it?

Christmas NiGHTS!

-Da North Pole, 30 minutes till Christmas Eve-

Christmas, the time of year that the stores are full, and decorations are put up for no apparent reason. People normally stay indoors during this time, but there of course were no doors in the North Pole. Only miles and miles of snow were available for the jester to see. Yup, NiGHTS was freezing himself in the North Pole. Why? Who knows? Maybe he saw a santa poster or hallucinated a giant jawbreaker floating towards north.

Either way, NiGHTS was extremely cold so cold in fact that his frostbite had frostbite. It was like a giant freezer without the leftover pizza. "S-s-s-santy cl-claus's worksho-o-p has t-t-t-o b-be somewhe-where…." NiGHTS kept repeating to reassure himself. Oh yeah that's what he was doing. It had been quite a while since he had started searching, but he hadn't found a single workshop or jolly fat man or reindeer poo.

"Shoulda got some mitt-tins." NiGHTS shivered, thinking he was talking to a penguin with socks on. The penguin waddled up to him and started to dance, making tapping noised with his feet before he was run over by a snow plow. NiGHTS hadn't noticed with his eyes were closed to keep them from freezing. There was a chilly wind that sent NiGHTS' hat flying. The jester had felt it and rushed after it blinking constantly from the sting.

Unfortunately he tripped on himself when he had his eyes closed and smacked into a wooden sign. "Owies" he mumbled, rubbing his hat-less head. He stood up slowly and opened his eyes and nearly fell over again. There was a giant set of buildings covered in lights and snow. There were thousands of elves running around busily tossing presents into a giant sack. The wooden sign, which had caught his hat, read: Welcome to da north pole.

NiGHTS replaced his hat and stepped forward slowly, finding that there was no more cold wind or snow. He looked down and saw that his clothes had changed to red white and green colors. "Awesome, automatic Christmas colors!" NiGHTS hurried towards the giant sack to get a closer look. "Hello stranger who I've never met before in my life and have no clue if you're evil or not or are just undecided! Welcome to the north pole!" An elf said with glee as the bag was closed shut tightly and loaded on a sleigh lead by moose, one of them with a tumor.

"Wow, the north pole!" NiGHTS took a moment to snap a picture with a camera that he kept in his vest thingy "Where's Santa?" Just as he said it, the door to one of the houses busted open and out came the jolly fat man dressed in red… oh and Santa came out too with a blue flowery shirt on.

"Ho Ho, Aloha! Off to Hawaii for my vacation." Santa grinned while dragging two large suitcases behind him, past the elves and off into the icy coldness of the rest of the North Pole where he dropped a calendar with the December 24 circled as vacation. NiGHTS hid his camera again and looked from the elves to where Santa left to the elves again. "WE'RE DOOMED!" An elf screamed, banging his head against the sleigh.

All the rest of the elves followed suit, slamming their heads against the red vehicle. "Why can't someone else just drive the sleigh?" NiGHTS wondered. Before he could ask it, another elf answered. "We're scared of heights. Oh, I got an idea. Who votes for that guy to fly it?" Every last elf raised his or her hand to vote for NiGHTS to drive Santa's sleigh.

"Its settled, total stranger, we're counting on you to bring joy to every single child and being in this world in only 30 minutes even though you can just as easily rule the world with this power. Now get your holly-jolly ass on that sleigh" The elf pointed to a mule that promptly ran off onto a runaway rocket ship.

NiGHTS hopped into the sleigh and noted a start button "Wow, new tech" NiGHTS pressed the button that sent the reindeer flying into the air dragging along the sleigh. "ON DONNER, ON DASHER, ON VIXEN, ON BLIXEN, ON CONNER, ON DANCER, ON PRANCER AND…err, you with the tumor" NiGHTS screamed, leading them to their first house where they landed on the roof, well more like the side of the roof.

NiGHTS heaved his enormous bag of presents and grabbed the ones for this house. Lets see Lex Mager… yup, here wii go" The maren grabbed the presents and jumped down the chimney. He landed in front of the tree which was decorated in a way that would make the world's top five gamers jealous.

The tree was one from Paper Mario, yet three dimensional and decorated with various game characters. The tree lights were Ideya, shining in all different colors. The energy source was a green light saber with 'YOdA'Z LiGHTzAbuR. Du NoT TuCh.' Scribbled in crayon on the side. To top it all off, a Super Mario Galaxy star was perched on the top.

"Whoa, this guy must have no life" NiGHTS shrugged and placed the presents under the tree. He was going to go back up the chimney, but he was stopped by a… bunny? Yes it was a bunny, a strange one at that with a 'Hello, my name is Paul' shirt on carrying a toilet brush. (Meet Paul the Rabbid, my insane pet)

"Uh hi." NiGHTS said puzzled at this strange bunny. "Eh?" Paul turned his head to the side and glared at the stockings on the wall. He ran up to one and pointed at it. It was an old sock nailed right above the chimney with the bunny's face drawn onto it in crayon. "Oh, okay…" NiGHTS placed a few small toys in the sock and took this chance to jump back up to the sleigh.

Moments later, the author came out from the kitchen holding a peanut butter and jelly Sammich. "Did you get it?" He asked the Rabbid, who nodded happily and handed him a camera full of pictures. "Perfect, this'll show them. Well Im off to bed, G'night Paul" The Author took the camera away to his room and threw the Sammich back at Paul, who ate it and screamed.

"Weird bunny" NiGHTS mumbled and led the sleigh to another house where he jumped down the chimney again. Strangely, the chimney landed in a bedroom rather than a living room. He saw someone, or something under bed sheets snoring away with a rainbow butterfly perched on a top hat similar to the one Jackle was wearing on his tri to Frilly Bonka's factory. NiGHTS stacked the presents up next to the tree before jumping up the chimney.

If he stayed longer he would have heard 'zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…Bleck…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz….curse you Mimi, these bagels are too hard for Count Bleck…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz….O'Chunks, stop staring at that cantaloupe…'

Anyways, NiGHTS left to deliver the rest of the presents and so far had finished ten more houses. He jumped down another chimney and was surprised to be staring down a shotgun barrel "SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" NiGHTS didn't even want to know what it was that he heard when he flew back up the chimney and into the sleigh faster than a cheetah with its tail on fire.

NiGHTS spent quite some time delivering with no interruptions when the sleigh began to beep and the fuel gauge flashed rapidly. "Better refill" NiGHTS steered the reindeer to a gas station and began to fill up the fuel tanks, which meant he bought cheeseburgers for the reindeer not to mention for himself aswell. Oh, and by gas station I mean mc Donald's drive through.

"Uh, can I get a double cheese burger and ten more for the reindeer with some coke? Oh and hold the onions on two of them, Prancer and Vixen are allergic. Erma, and can I get some fries with Barbie-q sauce for Comet?" NiGHTS leaned over his sleigh to order.

"Uh okay, first window" the drive-through guy said boredly. NiGHTS rode up to the window and flicked a golden coin at the cashier before flying with the burgers and fries. "Im Santa's replacement, so I don't think I got to pay…" NiGHTS shrugged off the small guilt, he did give him gold after all. He tossed the burgers into the air and watched the reindeer gobble them up easily.

After a greasy refreshment, the reindeer were full and ready to continue delivering. There was a 'you got mail' voice and a telegraph popped up on a screen with a frantic elf on it. "Uh, new guy. It's five minutes to midnight, you gotta step up the pace." The elf stuttered and the message was automatically deleted. "Uh-oh, now what?" NiGHTS pressed various buttons until a turret popped up from the dashboard. "I guess this is what" NiGHTS laughed abit at his own joke and pressed the big red fire button.

Thousands of presents were shot out at five times the speed of sound, dropping into chimnies everywhere and sorting them out, except for one that slammed into Paul full force on his nightly walk. Within no time NiGHTS job was done and he steered back to the North Pole. Once he returned, the elves were screaming in joy and pain, pain being that some of them had gone insane and began to gnaw themselves. NiGHTS saw colors flying, elves dieing, and some bells ringing.

"Congratulations rookie! You have delivered all the presents for every single person on time! You might have had a blast, or had hard time finding the houses. But this certain special tonight is a miracle because this is the first time we are on time, someone write the Code!" an elf that looked like Sebald screamed, the bells stopped ringing.

NiGHTS was overjoyed, thinking that nothing could go wrong now unless that bunny was hiding in the sleigh right now…

-Nightmare shopping mall-

The holiday rush is an inevitable thing in the Nightmare mall, from people dashing into Victor's Secret stores to Nightmaren discussing who they should steal from. But nothing was more crowded than the line of maren to sit on Santa's lap. Although Wiseman would be a better candidate, he had put Reala in the job of donning the suit and hat and having his lap sore after fat kids jumped on him.

"Ho Ho Oh I hate you" Reala growled to Wiseman who had donned a ridiculous elf costume. "HUSH! Here comes another." Indeed, another maren had jumped up onto Reala's lap. This one was obviously a lot darker than the other ones and strange, yet he reminded Reala of Devi. Ho Ho whatever. What's your name?" Reala tried in his best Santa voice, which wasn't so good.

"My name… is Dc….." The voice was barely auditable and sounded as if the strange creature spent his life in misery, with slightest hint of sorrow. "And what would you like for Christmas?" the jester asked even though he didn't care the slightest on what he wanted. "What do I want?" Dc grabbed Reala by the nec-erm… collar.

"I have been through countless misfortunes, thrown around like a rag doll to problem after problem, losing all that has been close and dear to me. I want my friends back, I want my team back, I wand my LIFE back." His voice was quiet enough so that only Reala had heard. Wow, Reala liked this guy but had no idea how to respond. "Try reading. NEXT!" It was a suitable answer; people who read had good lives, right? I mean your reading right now, good for you! (Seriously, not many people read these days…)

Dc frowned and scurried off, moving his hand across his neck as in 'Im going to cause you discomfort somehow.' The next one was a surprise, yet Reala expected it slightly. "Hi Santa" Came the voice of the clever tricky little Devi. "Why do you keep popping up in my life?" Reala growled at him when he sat on his lap.

"Huh? What do you mean, Santa? Wait a minute, oh hi Reala!" Devi realized that the maren wasn't actually Santa Claus who was getting a tan right about now. "Just get out here now!" Reala hissed threateningly. "Aww, you're mean" Devi took a moment to show teary eyes "But then again so am I. One more insult and you'll be Mrs. Claus" Devi smirked and readied his hands as if he would cast the spell.

Not risking being under one of the illusion spells (and since he was in complete contact with Devi, it would last pretty long.) Reala played along and grumbled 'what would you like for Christmas'. Devi grinned "Only this. ZIM ZIM ZOOBALIM!" Devi cackled as that familiar pink cloud came into view. There was a scurry which was probably just Devi escaping. When the cloud cleared, Reala had been transformed again in a…well how do I put this without raising the rating? Er… He had been swapped of his gender and put in a rather tight Santa suit showing off new appendages.

Without a single thought, Reala gave chase to the crazy little maren but he found it to be a lot harder than the last time it happened. "THAT LOOK REALLY SUITS YOU! - WHOA BAH HUMBUG, EH?" Devi hollered with mirth as he dashed through every other Nightmaren's legs because of his small stature.

Reala had taken the measures of flying instead in complete rage. But the smallest maren was planning this and soon enough Reala was caught in a large roll of tape and wrapped up in a gift. "MERRY CHRISAUNIKAMAS! Devi cackled as he poofed into thin air leaving behind a silver bell that Dc grabbed and ran away with.

Reala had gone mad; being stuck in a present wasn't really fun. Being in a tight suit in a different body made it worse. But there was one good thing, Devi would appear in his life again and he would have his revenge! MUAHAHAHA-HACK- right… eventually.

-Jackle's room-

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, nothing was quiet, and Jackle set fire to his spouse. Anyway, Jackle's room was severely decorated in the Christmas joy. Green and red paint was splotched everywhere and the grey-black suit of Rook didn't go in too much with it. "Jackle, what are you doing? I had to miss out on seeing Reala get humiliated to baby sit-I mean visit you." Rook held a present in his hand.

Jackle turned around and snatched the box, shaking it before gently setting it under a tree and falling over. "Merry Halloween! And have a happy new car!" Jackle screamed with delight. Rook sighed; even in the Holliday Jackle was insane. When Rook actually looked at the tree, he saw it was probably thousands of feet high, covered with ornaments of all shapes and sizes, thousands of presents for everyone he could think of who knew Jackle were lined up under the enormous tree.

That wasn't even the last of it; the normal toys that were scattered around his room were picked up and neatly put in a toy box. A miniature train chugged around the tree with 'polar express' written on the side. Dozens of lights kept the room bright and merry. "Nice decorations" was all that Rook said, but it pleased Jackle. "…." Jackle hadn't replied, either he was actually thinking or he was banging his head on the bookshelf again.

"Jackle, what are you doing?" Rook was curious and had found that Jackle had been digging through the gifts that were under the tree. "Uhhh…" "I'M GONNA FIND THAT THING EVENTUALLY! CAUSE IT'S GOTTA BE UNDER THE TREE!"

Jackle got a gleam in his eye and began to sing, music played in the backround and toys came to life.

_The leaves s always greener  
on somebody else's tree  
you dream about growing up there  
that frog just went SPLEEE  
Just look at the world around you  
Right here on the floor that's sweeped  
Oh and there's one more thing-  
Don't forget to wipe your feet._

Jackle danced around the tree while Rook ate some pizza and enjoyed the show.

_Under the tree  
under the tree_

_Put on a sweater  
now it is better  
I am sixteeeeen!  
_

_The guys at SEGA work all day_

_And took me out of the game  
while I'm Provoking  
Dead bodies are floatin'  
under the tree!_

Jackle conducted a band of toys and nutcrackers that paraded around tossing ribbons and playing instruments.

_Down here I am going crazy  
as Rook visits every day  
Outside I am more insane_

_Pudding sheep casserole is what I say  
_

_But in here I am happy  
I know what's my fate  
I've been in this room,_

_Juggling china plates._

Hundreds of plates flew down and crashed in a sparkle of glass making it a spectacle to behold.

_Under the tree  
under the tree  
nobody beat us  
or can they see us  
throwing Frisbee_

_I won't brag but Im a cook  
my only pall in life is Rook  
we are the slackers   
eating some crackers!  
Under the tree  
under the tree  
no one can be here  
then there is no fear  
magically  
_

The toys all marched around the tree and then stacked up with Jackle singing from the top.

_Even my cyciatrists say  
Just go out and get away  
No one can tear it  
you got to hear it  
under the tree_

_The coot play the flute  
The sharp play the harp  
my face plays the bass  
And they sound like farts  
The fast play the brass  
The clubs play the tub  
The juke is the duke of pies_

The gay (er, happy) then can play  
The dings on the strings  
They pout while rockin' out  
The puffy she sings  
Missed your barmitspha,

_Who ordered a pizza?_

_Under the tree!_

Rook watched the parade and dance of the toys and the insane Nightmaren while singing along; it was a catchy tune after all.

_Under the tree  
under the tree  
when the big beanies  
make the Linguini_

_It's strangest to me!  
_

_What do they got?_

_Some stupid rants?  
We got a bunch of underpants  
each little toy here_

_Knows Marth and Roy here  
under the tree  
each little toilette_

_Using the toilet  
under the tree!  
Each little fail here_

_Is setting the Bail here  
that's why it's hotter_

_With scalding water  
stay 50 feet away_

_That means all you strange, homo, and gay  
under the tree!!!!!_

Jackle finished his song by jumping off the tower of toys and grabbing a present off the floor. "Oh, here it is. Merry Christmas" Jackle gave Rook a small present. "Uh, thanks" Rook opened the box and pulled out… a small black box?

"It's the hard drive of the first copy of Mario bros, hope you lie it. Took me a while to wrestle it from Miyamanto." Jackle grinned. Rook fell over, I think he fainted. Having the original copy of anygame was an honor to gamers such as Rook and myself….

"Under the tree"

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So was it any good? Review! Oh and there's a code somewhere in this fic. Review me and see if you can guess where it is and what it says!

Reviews are adored, flames are noted, and to all a good night

Jackle: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HAUNIKA, HAPPY QUANZA, HAPPY RANZ-SOMETHING, HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!


	7. NiGHTS new year! 2008

Hey all hope you liked the last Christmas special. This is the New Year's part of the holiday special. Sorry for the shortness, but Im in a hurry. ducks as vase flies overhead

Dis-claimer: I don't own NiGHTS, Jackle, Reala, or Wiseman sadly… At least Jackle would be nice; I mean Sega isn't using him now…

Claimer: Rook, Devi, and any other unfamiliar characters are mine (except the cameo appearances from various places).

And that's basically it, enjoy the chapter.

101 NiGHTS of randomness: New years

-New York City, New Year's Eve. 2 minutes to New Year.-

2008! It's coming, or maybe it's already here, or maybe it passé a while ago and you are just reading this story? Eh, whichever it is, our favorite jester was flying over the streets watching people scurry about and gather around Time Square. "Run you crazy heads, run!" NiGHTS was having fun screaming, and a good thing was that he didn't get slammed into something for the entire night.

His clothes had changed from his Christmas colors to a rainbow, though why it was rainbow he had no idea but the included sparklers were pretty neat to throw at people. Why so many people were eating grapes and throwing buckets of water out the window was beyond him. All of the sudden, every single person began chanting numbers, which surprised NiGHTS enough to make him slam into the enormous ball, causing it to plummet all the way down until it exploded in lights and everyone began cheering.

"Owies" NiGHTs mumbled, not knowing that he caused New Years to come 2 minutes earlier.

(Sorry once more for shortness, I'll make it up to you all in the next chapter. To prove it, I'll eat this poison Shroom… kinda spi- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Paul: dueeeheu….DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!)

-Jackle's room-

"Are you enjoying the mad cows with butter?" Jackle asked Reala, who was nearly about to implode. "Maybe if you UNTIE THESE WRETCHED CHAINS!" Indeed Reala was chained down between two megatons of chains covered in locks that were made of smaller, more secure locks that had all the keys fed to dogs, which were burned and their ashes scattered to different ends of the universe where they were tossed into several stars and black holes.

Nearby, Rook and Devi were nearly passed out from the intense conditions that they were enduring, something that would make even the most patient person go bonkers…a game of chess. "Your not bad for a little magician, but I've been playing games all my life and there's no way you can win. Oh, and I'm kind of named after the game" Rook smirked as he moved his namesake piece a space. "Oh really? Well I tricked an army into surrendering with a handkerchief and a Christmas tree ball so there's no way YOU can win"

The two stared off, both of them evenly matched in the game of wits, so which one would win? Let's check on those two later, right now let's see who just arrived. NiGHTS came in dizzy and thinking he crashed into a spaceship, apparently the New Year was an exception to his punishment and he was allowed to come back for a while. That, and he bribed the court with all the money he made by his new game.

"Uh, Jackle? Who are they?" NiGHTS pointed at the wall next too Devi and Rook thinking he was gonna fall over any moment. Jackle noted that and woke NiGHTS up by slamming a whiskey bottle on the door. "That's Rook, remember from the turkey? And that's some midget that follows Reala around" Jackle laughed at himself for a moment while Devi threw the chess board at him.

Un noticed by everyone else, Wiseman was near the jack-in-the-boxes sleeping, and not too far away was another maren, a female one at that who seemed bored beyond all reason. "And who's that?" NiGHTS pointed at whoever the ignored maren was. "That's Wiseman you twit. Do me a favor and press that button that says Release" Reala answered, gnawing on the titanium plated gold that held him bound.

"No, I mean the other one" NiGHTS said, holding his fingers slightly on the Release button. "What do I look like, an annoying brown paper mushroom thing that knows everything? Just some maren that no one talks to" Reala scoffed while trying to pick a lock with his jester hat. "Okay, good enough" NiGHTS was about to press the release button but thought otherwise and left to see what he could find out about the new maren.

Back to the gamer and magician, Rook and Devi were now playing the time consuming game of cronopoly. "Why don't we use real money? Just to make it interesting?" Rook suggested, reaching for his counterfeit money in his pocket. "three reasons my semi-insane friend. One, Im only 4 years old so I can't, two I steal money from saps like Reala to pay for stuff, and last… These pink fifties are so awesome to look at!"

Jackle was…being Jackle

Now to NiGHTS' situation, Once he got the unneeded courage to go to the strange new maren he noticed more of her features. She apparently was a new level 1 maren, but unlike the other ones she didn't wear a hat (kinda of a law. ACK THE POISON IS BACK! CALL THE MYTHBUSTERS!!!!). She had luxurious blonde hair spilling from her head, ending at her waist. Like other maren, she was extremely slender wearing a white jester outfit with dark violet cuffs and a matching vest. The skin-tight pants that she wore ended at slender boots similar to NiGHTS' along with a long white pointed tail. She had yellow lightning bolts over her eyes, well face-paint ones or maybe she was born like that.

"Uh, hi Im-" NiGHTS was immediately cut off from his sentence "Sorry kid not interested." She said almost instantly. "In what?" NiGHTS asked since he never really was rejected from anyone or anything, except from Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games but that's another chapter.

"In whatever your going at. Not Interested so go back and play with your little friends over there. Oh, and the orange one is chopping his foot with a table saw."

"I just want to know who you are".

"Im the person you never met before in your life, leave me alone."

"I'm NiGHTS, What's your name?"

"…..Melecy, now leave me alone kid"

"That's a nice name"

"Look, can't you take a hint? Im here cause I got dragged along by the fat sleeping person over there for no apparent reason and Im quite ticked right now."

"I like icecream, what about you?"

This went on for a long time; way after Rook and Devi finished their monopoly game with both of them having a truce. Reala never escaped from his chains, not yet anyways. Oh and let's see what the gamer and magician are up to now.

"DAI!" Devi furiously swinged his Wiimote and Nunchuck in attempt to steal the ball from the other team. "NEVA!" Rook replied, shooting the pseudo soccer ball into a Megastrike. Yep the two were in a furious game of Picasso Soccer Powered up (Rook's hacked game of Strikers Charged) Neither team had scored a goal because when Rook Megastrike, Devi magically blocked the balls. And when Devi shot, Rook would counter it effortlessly.

"So you don't like puppies?"

"No, can you go now?"

"I know someone with a puppy named Spot."

"Do I need to smack you?"

"No, but I can juggle!"

"Where's the off button on this purple thing!"

"Why are you so mad?"

"CAUSE YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"…."

"….."

"Do you need a hug?"

"NO I DON'T NEED A HUG!"

"Let's sing the F.U.N song!"

"What do you want from me? Take my money and go!"

"F is for friends who do stuff together-"

"WE'RE NOT FRIENDS!"

"Are we buddies?"

"NO!"

"chums?"

"NO!"

"palls?"

"NO!"

"Acquaintances?"

"HECK NO!"

"Amigos?"

"NO!"

"Companions?"

"NO!"

"Partners?"

"WHAT"S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Melecy was on the verge of insanity, she wondered if this was how the orange guy turned out how he was. She tried everything, but that cheery attitude just wouldn't phase. "Can we be friends now?" NiGHTS tried again.

"What do you want?" Melecy was about to explode and slam her head on the table saw that Jackle was using to cut open a can of beans. "I want to be friends" NiGHTS admitted. "You don't even know what friends are" Melecy scoffed, trying to figure out a way to shut up this purple menace to her sanity.

"Friends do stuff together and have fun together." "What If I don't know what fun is?" NiGHTS thought for a moment before turning on a boom box. "Lemme spell it for you"

_SMOOOOOOOOOOKE ON THE WATER! FIRE IN THE SKY!_

NiGHTS stopped the tape "uh, oops. Wrong side" He quickly switched the rock and roll to a cheery tune.

"_F is for friends who do stuff together,_

_U is for unique hair_

_N is for N'ywhere, anytime at all. Over here in Nightmare._

Melecy attempted to plug her ears, but the music was too loud and addicting, which Jackle soon joined in.

_F is for Fries with my McDonalds_

_U is for under the tree!_

_Under the tree!_

_The guys at Sega work all day!_

_They kicked be out of NiGHTS' New game!_

_Fully provoking_

_Dead bodies are floating under the tree!_

_Jackle! Stick to the song! Oppsies, sorry._

_F is for Fries with my Mcdonalds_

_U is for a pair of Undies_

_N is for Nosepicking, biting things, and frog kicking here with my best buddies._

"C'mon Melecy, sing with us!" NiGHTS said happily.

"……………_. Fine_

_F is for Freaks who won't leave me alone_

_U is for you guys better shut up_

_N is for NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!_

"But that's not what F.U.N is about, let Rook show you how it's done" NiGHTS suggested. "Kay, but you owe me." Rook paused the game for a moment.

_F is for Final Fantasy_

_U is for you can't beat me_

_N is for New Challenger approaching, someone just challenged me._

Devi didn't want to be left out, so he sang anyways.

_F is for Feleducious turns you into a chicken_

_U is for Ukululu_

_N is for Nelucerocious, which gives you a terrible flu._

"Is it always like this?" Melecy asked the tied up Reala. "You have no idea. Press that button that says release" Reala stopped picking a lock with a pair of nail clippers for a moment. Melecy shrugged and pressed the button, releasing Reala. "FINALLY!" Reala cackled, only to realize he couldn't move still. "Immobility spell" Devi smirked.

"You know it won't be that bad if you sing along, Reala" NiGHTS pointed out.

"Fine, if you leave me alone" Reala grumbled.

_F is for freeze rays that destroy you all_

_U is for Arachnids (Reala needs spelling lessons) SHUT UP DEVI!_

_N is for No one to hear you scream, now you can stop bothering me._

"okay, that wasn't exactly what I was thinking but eh. Now you try Melecy" NiGHTS smiled. "Ugh, okay but I won't like it. You better leave me alone after this."

_F is for four_

_U is for umbrella_

_N is for no_

"There, is that good enough?" "Nope, do it like this."

_F is for funny-_

"Never, you look like a fool" Melecy growled. "I'm a Jester, it's my job" NiGHTS joked. "Just try it once for me okay?". Melecy swallowed the rest of her pride and agreed, knowing she would hate herself for this.

_F is for Fries instead of salads_

_U is for Ubisoft_

_N is for Nerds rope, Newbies, and No slopes here with my best buddies._

"Wasn't that fun?" "No" The music stopped, everyone went back to doing whatever they were doing. "But why? Why won't you just stop the grumpy-ness?" NiGHTS asked concerned that she had a medical problem or something. "Im way past Grumpy, NiGHTS. I'm-"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" NiGHTS cheered, dancing for a few seconds. "…Did I say the magic word or something?" Melecy asked. "Nope, you remembered my name! That's progress!" NiGHTS said happily.

"EVERYONE GET YOUR BAGELS READY! THERE'S ONLY 10 SECONDS TO THE NEW ROPE!" Jackle screamed, causing everyone to gather around an enormous countdown screen. Reala had to be rolled there while NiGHTS dragged Melecy along by the hand (half literally, since he was fast for someone who was addicted to jawbreakers. OW MY WRIST! IT'S STARTED AGAIN!) And Wiseman was left asleep since not many people could lift him.

" 10, 9, 8, 7, 6- WAIT!" NiGHTS screamed. "Sure thing" Rook stopped the countdown with his universal Wiimote. "Thanks, I'll be right back!" NiGHTS ran off and came back with various people such as Dc, Rayman, Count Bleck, Mario, Luigi, Dimento, Nastasha, Paul who was dragging the author in on a red wagon, Aisa, Spook, Pilfer, Mr. Mouthwash, Mr. Clean, Santa, the littlest elf, Snemony Licket, Violet, Klaus, Sunny, Captain Olimar, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Doopliss, Booario, Booigi, Yoda and a whole lot of other people who made cameos or are just favorites.

"Okay, now go" NiGHTS smiled and huddled up with everyone else for no apparent reason. " 5, 4, 3, 2, 1-"

-We interrupt this Fanfiction to show an important news flash. Do you like toothpaste, Im sure you do. Now then, will the owner of a yellow submarine Mark II please move your vehicle, you're parked on top of the statue of liberty. (Paul: oops. runs off…………comes back FIIIIIIIC!")-

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone screamed, or everyone who could scream screamed. Corks went flying through the air and nearly everyone was blasted with soda pop. We'd like to tell you more, but our camera was lost when a cork blasted its screen.

------------------------

Paul…. Get the……..mushroom.

Paul: euh? gives me 1-up

That was a close one, anyways I hope you enjoyed it. Remember to review.

Reviews are adored, flames are read and noted, and to all a happy new year, except for you points at Hannah Montana who runs away crying

Paul: ejebwekbfhnewhvwhedvdjhnw That's all folks! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Jackle: THAT'S MY LINE!


	8. NiGHTS wars, part 4 and a half

Hello ladies, gentlemen, hippies, Jedi, rabbids, koopas, sponges, and creatures of all kinds: your favorite author Lex has another chapter (sorry for being EXTREMLY late but it's a long chapter.)

Anyways I'm doing another NiGHTS Special to make up for shortness; to be exact it's a STAR WARS special. So let's get this thing started

Disclaimer: I don't own NiGHTS, Jackle, Reala, or any other characters from the NiGHTS series. And Star Wars belongs to whats-his-dry-cleaners. Oh and all cameos don't belong to me either, which there are a lot because let's face it the only good ones I have to work with are Jackle, Reala, and NiGHTS.

Claimer: Rook, Devi, Melecy, and other unfamiliar characters are fan charries and if you steal them they have instructions to run out of your fic and return to my HQ, which is next to the local Game n Go.

So enjoy the chapter and its randomness. Oh and the characters are referred to as themselves and the character they play as. Get it?

Paul: ROLL FIC!

----------

-4000 years ago but still in the future….-

101 NIGHTS

_Part 4 1/2 _

_Various Fighting Dilemmas_

_It is a time of war, laser rock shows, Internet, and authors with too much time on their hands. There are a lot of fights and stuff, and really cool effects that you have to imagine_

_For yourself. And this was all scribbled onto a paper during a test that our daring author, Lex had the courage to take._

_(Will the owner of a yellow submarine MKII please move, you're parked on top of the Death Star.)_

_But it's not about him; it's about finding something to do all day other than_

_Play Super Mario Galaxy. Seriously, it's a cool game and Mario turns into a bee and stuff, which I thought was stupid but it's awesome in a weird way. You should rent it at least, and don't return it until you play as Luigi. Oh and Rosaline looks like Peach abit, it freaks me out but still…_

_Ex-Princess Melecy was back from Sega Carnival when some guy was attacking her ship for the rent._

There are three kinds of ships. The first is a boat. The second is a parcel that you deliver. The last is a thing that transports you through space. Melecy's ship was abit of all three. It had more windows than the Titanic, Was delivering something to some Professor Oak guy, and was being shot in space by a ravenous loan company called 'Happy Hocotate Savings and Loans'.

"WHO THE HECK FORGOT TO PAY?!" the voice boomed through the entire ship, loud enough to make Godzilla cry. "I think the check bounced Princess- HOLY SHNITZLES! AAAAAAH!" the insignificant Nightmaren ran off. Melecy flicked off the cucumbers from her eyes, no it wasn't a spa she was just cooking. Either way she was wearing a white robe for no reason, but she thought it matched her eyes real good.

The fact that an annoying little robotic Rabbid was frantically beeping in the backround didn't help. A few more intelligent Rabbids went to block all entrances as herds of little creatures with leaves on their heads stole their food.

"-so do something about it master gamer, only you can. Not really but Im to lazy to do it myself." Melecy pressed a button on the Rabbid's forehead before knocking him into an escape pod. "See you R2-Paul." Melecy ejected the escape pod but realized that she could have gotten in too. It was too late and the escape pod was already two centimeters away. In another five hours it might reach Mars.

Paul sat down and whipped out his trusty DS. Good thing he brought along his car adapter, huh? Back at Melecy's ship, another person entered the ship and looked around. This Nightmaren boss was either wearing a black suit or was spray painted to look like he had it on but either way, it was Darth Wiseman! Not available in stores anywhere.

"Nice job on the tiles, there's so many scratches not even wolverine could have done that." Darth Wiseman kicked at one of the floor tiles, regretting it because it went through his shoe and stabbed his foot. "Anyways, tell me what you have done with the Death Ideya plans since my army has guns bigger than you" Darth Wiseman pointed out, yanking the floor tile out of his foot painfully.

"Okay, I shipped the plans to china where they were shredded and fed to starving dogs, which their waste was burned and the ashes were scattered around the word to various safes that were thrown into the center of various planets that later were sucked into different dimensions." Ex-Princess Melecy grinned at how complicated it was, but it worked.

"Uh…. What?" Wiseman nearly felt his brain implode. "Nah just funning with ya. The plans are hidden in a soup kitchen somewhere in the Good Egg galaxy." Ex-Princess Melecy admitted. "Gee, thanks. Okay take her away" Darth Wiseman went off to his Death Ideya ship while 4 stormkoopa-troopers dragged Melecy away."

Meanwhile on Mars, R2-Paul landed just as he beat the last minigame on his Raving Rabbids 2. He got out and sniffed the Martian air, if he wasn't a robot he'd smell a Barbie-q nearby. Instead he waddled out and walked around in circles for a while before leaving to where he saw a carrot. There was a pause, R2-Paul stood there for a while staring at it.

He finally padded over to it only to fall through the ground into a hole. Music was heard and there was a laugh. "JESSIE!" "JAMES!" "AND MEOWTH PERSON!" TEAM ROCKET-" "Wait a minute guys, wrong studio" "Oh pardon us" there was a few footsteps and the sound of a door closing before Paul was brought out of the hole, but still caught in a net.

Who was his captor? He went into sleep mode out of boredom and damage from the cookies in his hardware.

Let's see, back in the Death Ideya Darth Wiseman was planning his evil plan with some of the world's villains. "We've made sure no one can destroy us" Chairman Eggman stated. "This station is entirely immune to any attack, no matter what" Barney cackled. "Perfect, so nothing is a weak point right?" Darth Wiseman grinned behind his voice changing mask.

"Uh, no" General Dimento said abit nervously. "Great, wait a minute there is something isn't there?" Wiseman raised his voice at the clown. "Well there's this button, and it's only for emergencies, but if you press that button the entire thing blows up" Dimento said timidly. "WHAT?! WHAT"S WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU DON'T CALL THAT A WEAKNESS?! Wiseman boomed, slamming his hands on the table.

Dimento remained silent for awhile "What?" Wiseman asked, calming down slightly. "You hurt my feelings" Dimento admitted quietly. "Oh Im sorry, just that a button that blows up 1000000 pieces of eight just ticks people off. You wanna get an ice cream?" Wiseman asked. Dimento shook his head. "Wanna go to Mac Donald's?" Wiseman tried again. Dimento shook his head no once more.

"Wanna go set fire to a cat?" Darth Reala asked. (He's not Darth Vader, he's Darth Maul). Dimento nodded silently. "Okay we'll go set fire to a cat." "Hurry up! Bleck needs to go rent a movie! Exclaimed Bleck" Exclaimed governor Bleck. "The rest of you remove the button" Wiseman said, thus ceasing the meeting.

Meanwhile at Mars, our…er, hero was catching up on a 'well needed' warm up nap to prepare for his nap since he didn't want to pull a napping muscle. "NiGHTS! NiGHTS!... NIGHTS J SKYWALKER YOU GET YOUR WANNABE JEDI SELF OVER HERE NOW!" NiGHTS Skywalker groaned and stretched, trying to put on a wristwatch but remembered he had no wrists. "Oh right. Eh" "NIIIIIIIGHTS!" the screaming came again and shook the house violently.

NiGHTS jumped out the window Super Mario Galaxy style and landed gracefully in front of Aunt Puffy. "What?" "Dooooon't forget toooo tell your Uuuuuuncle to buy MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILK!" Puffy half said, half sang, half screamed. "Uh, I'll do that." NiGHTS backed away slowly and ran off no longer needing a nap.

He crashed into Paul, who screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed, then NiGHTS screamed, then Paul screamed.

Then they calmed down and saw that the other was harmless since NiGHTS had no weapons with him and Paul was too insane to do anything really harmful. "Oh it's just a Rabbid D2-Paul unit." NiGHTS said in relief. _'Oh it's only an imbecile' _Paul processed in relief.

NiGHTS lead the little robot to his house to try to take him apart and use him for scrap. First he would find out everything he knew with his supercomputer. "Plug this USB wherever it goes" NiGHTS handed the robot a USB cord, which he promptly ate. "Okay hold still while I access your data… okay bypassing level 1 fire wall… easy enough." NiGHTS grinned. All of the sudden NiGHTS didn't think it was so good. 'MAJOR SYSTEM FAILURE!!!!!! OVERLOAD!! COOKIES!!!! BUNNIES!!!DANCING!!!!TOILET PLUNGERS!!!!!!!ERROR ERRO…r e.rr.o.r…….DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'

NiGHTS' advanced supercomputer exploded and R2-Paul danced like he could, which he could! "Whoa, okay then I'll just use the Ultra computer." NiGHTS shrugged and plugged the USB in. The computer already showed a few signs of failure, its report card dropped to a C!

"Co-operate and I'll give you a carrot, Kay?" NiGHTS Skywalker raised a carrot into the air. Paul automatically reached for it, letting down his firewalls and viruses. "Okay let's see… all files, okay windows media player, internet, and Microsoft word…action replay code manager? Visual Boy Advance? Weird. How about word documents?" NiGHTS browsed through the cookies and files until he found a word file titled 'World Dominoes.' NiGHTS clicked it although it asked for a password.

"Okay never mind then" NiGHTS browsed until he found a hologram file. He clicked and Paul opened his mouth. The file began to play, having been recorded not long ago. 'So do something about it master gamer, only you can. So do something about it master gamer, only you can.' The ending of the hologram repeated over and over showing of course Ex-princess Melecy.

"Master gamer? Does she mean…him? I wonder if-" NiGHTS was caught in the middle of his sentence by a load of spam attacking his computer causing it to explode. Paul had found out how to get to the carrot using a cotton swab and a sandal. "Eh, I'll take my other nap. G'night R2-Paul" NiGHTS yawned and fell asleep. Paul didn't reply because he was gnawing on his favorite plunger.

-Next morning-

NiGHTS woke up with a bounce in his step and ready to face his duties… well sort of. His alarm clock went flying out the window faster than a wookie with it's head on fire. "Im bored. How about you R2? ….R2-Paul?" NiGHTS jumped out of bed and saw to his surprise that R2-Paul was missing. Although he did leave a trail of what NiGHTS hoped was yellowish carrot juice for him to follow.

Although he realized that it would take a long time to walk so he just flew. Of course he was interrupted by a green hawk on a flying snowboard. NiGHTS simply nodded and the two faced off in a race grinding on poles and flying through rings. NiGHTS knocked the hawk off his 'Extreme gear' and onto a passing meat truck. The jester landed and soon the two were in a hand to hand combat.

Thy fought until the truck flew off a cliff and they landed through the roof of a cruise ship where NiGHTS smacked the hawk on the head with a gumball machine. The ship went off course, falling off a waterfall and exploding leaving the two to fight in a free-fall. However a flying space ship caught them before they hit the bottom, where they fought even more.

The hawk grabbed his snowboard that just happened to come along and started whacking NiGHTS with it until the jester side-kicked him off and the battle took to the skies. Of Course NiGHTS didn't need a snowboard to fly and knocked the hawk off, sending him plummeting to the ground where NiGHTS whacked him with a golf club. The jester sighed and flew off into the horizon bruised and bleeding, but the hawk's hand could be seen clenching into a fist before being impaled by a chair.

NiGHTS got to the end of the carrot juice trail to find a flea market run by a whole mess of Jawachu. Most of the sales were just a bunch of books and shirts but even so NiGHTS browsed around until he found a suspicious looking Jawachu selling R2-Paul. "How much for the bunny?" NiGHTS asked. "For FREE! HE KEEPS EATING MY STUFF!-uh I mean PIKA!" the Jawachu choked for a moment.

"Wait a moment you aren't a Jawachu." NiGHTS removed his salesman's hood to reveal a small Nightmaren. "Alright fine, I'm Devi. I sell stuff around here without any of the Jawachu knowing. Take the robot and get outta here. By the way what are you doing here anyways?" Devi the outcast Jawachu asked, kicking Paul off his sales table leaving him selling a grappling hook and tickets to Hannah Montana 3-D which of course no one liked therefore only used the tickets as weapons to burn people's eyes off.

"I'm just getting this R2-Paul unit back. Well see you." NiGHTS lured Paul away with a carrot. Although just as they were leaving, A CRAZY FRUITCAKE MONKEY ATTACKED! Fortunately Devi threw the tickets at the monkey and watched it explode. "I forgot to mention, it gets dangerous out there because of the Tusken Rangers so I might have to come with you." Devi added.

"Kay, whatever." NiGHTS began to walk away until he was attacked by a Tusken Ranger. The Ranger sent a small top-like object spinning around NiGHTS enough to make him dizzy and knocking him unconscious. Fortunately the ranger was impaled by a wii remote. A person in a hood ran over to NiGHTS and kicked him until he was awake.

"Who are you?" Devi asked, backing away just slightly. The person removed his hood "I'm Obi-Rook Kenobi"

-Later-

Obi-Rook Kenobi's place was entirely focused on video games. The sofa was painted to look like a GameCube control. The walls had D-Pads drawn on them and were covered in posters. Even the flat screen TV had a wii and a Nunchuck on either side. The kitchen counter was arranged to look like the destiny islands. The original Mario hat from the Super Mario Bros Super Show was hung on a chair that had Sonic shoes next to it.

"well this is my place. HEY LASDA! WE GOT GUESTS!" Rook called. Out from the bedroom came a tired looking green kitsune (Lash from my other fic. Fans of The Life of Dc the Chao will get a kick out of this.) "Not to bother me, I told you" Lash grumbled, sitting at the table and flipping open a newspaper with the headline 'Storm koopa troopers found on beach.'

"Now then NiGHTS, you must learn the ways of the wireless Bluetooth." Rook grinned. "Uhhh, what the heck is the Bluetooth?" NiGHTS asked. R2-Paul began beeping loudly, but he was shushed and given a carrot. "The Bluetooth is a wireless force. It surrounds us, it screws up plane controls. There is a good side that is used for wii remotes and cell phones, and the uh… other side." Rook paused a moment to dig through a clustered treasure chest.

"Here, hold this for a moment" Rook tossed NiGHTS a gerbil in a cage. "I know it's in here somewhere…. I didn't think that I'd find this- oh here it is, the kingdom keyblade" Rook pulled out a large oversized metal key with a mouse keychain that might have weighed a ton. NiGHTS thought he heard Rook grumble something about 'Sora dragging this thing everywhere' before he pointed it at a closet.

Everything went all CG effects and the closet opened to reveal thousands of videogames and consoles and remote controls. "Okay you don't want the Genesis turret…the GameCube grenade launcher is too much… the Xbox is too heavy… AHA! Here wii are." Rook pulled out two wii remotes and handed NiGHTS one. "This is a Wiisaber; it uses forces from the Bluetooth to transmit signals. But if concentrated enough, the signals form into a plasma beam. Try it, just slip on the wrist strap and press a and b together." Rook smiled. "You can't really expect that to work, can you?" Devi interrupted

NiGHTS shrugged and slipped on the wrist strap, which was hard because he had no wrists, eventually however he managed to get a large blue beam out of the Wiisaber. "Wow awesome!" NiGHTS grinned, waving it around abit before releasing the buttons and watching it vanish.

"S'kool, Lemme see it" Devi snatched the Wiisaber and pressed the buttons. Nothing happened however. "Hey what gives?" Devi shook it abit but to no avail. "Oh the batteries just died. Don't worry they'll re-charge in like 2 minutes. Anyways while we're at it, Lash over there will train you. I'm gonna go online for about an hour." Rook simply left and shut the door to his room. Paul looked up from his carrot for just a moment before following the master gamer.

"What's up little dude?" Rook asked. Paul responded by playing the holograph message. "Is this thing on?" Melecy asked, waiting a moment before continuing. "Master Gamer, years ago you helped us in the Phantom Dentist war. And we need your help again, not really but still you owe us for reserving Smash bros Brawl for you. Its release date changed again so that's why you don't have it yet"

"Anyways the Death Ideya plans are in this R2-Paul unit." Paul almost immediately coughed up blueprints. "I hope those are dry" Ex-princess Melecy stepped away from the blueprints. "They are" Rook said, picking them up to examine them. "Good cause it took hours to get it." Melecy said even though the blueprints were just a small circle in another big circle with 'shoot here' written on it.

"Alright I'll do it then. Oh and are we still on for Saturday?" Rook asked, fingering a certain box in his pocket. "If Im not captured then okay. So help us Master gamer, because only you can. Well not really Im just too lazy" Melecy shrugged. "Okay, how about a goodbye hug?" Rook asked. "Not in your dreams slick." Melecy frowned, ending the message.

-Meanwhile on the Death Ideya-

Darth Reala exited the elevator on the b3 floor, the canteen. Y'know, like a cafeteria? Anyways he was quite hungry so he walked up to the cashier and checked out the menu. "Lets see… I'll have the panatelas soup." Reala said. "Well then you'll need a tray." Spamma trooper pointed out. Reala leaned forward abit "Do you know who I am?" he half said half growled. "No, do you know who I am?" Spamma asked.

"You're not important. Because Im Darth Reala…Maul Reala, I can kill you with a text." Reala said in a menacing tone. "Well you still need a tray" Spamma said simply. "I don't need a tray to kill you, I have the Bluetooth with I can use to kill you with all the radio waves. But I can kill you with a tray if I wanted to because I would whack your head until the brain juice flowed on the floor and-"

"No the food is hot; you need a tray to put the food on." Spamma interrupted. "Oh, I thought you were challenging me." Reala admitted. "Challenge? This is Canteen, hair care, and tire center. I work here." Spamma said, although he wasn't really surprised.

"Yeah but Im Reala, and everyone is always challenging me. You know, I run the death Ideya?"

"What's the death ideya?"

"You're in the Death Ideya"

"This is an ideya?"

"This is a giant floating ideya, I'm your boss."

"You're Mr. Rojas?"

"What? No who the- he's head of employee service, I don't give service. I can kill service with a text! I can kill me with a text, why I ought to- ah screw it I'll get a tray."

Reala reached for a tray but his claws touched a wet surface. "This ones wet. And this ones wet. And this ones wet,

And this ones wet, and this ones wet, and this ones wet, and this ones wet, did you dry these in a rainforest? Dear Sega don't we have any darn tray that isn't wet?" Just then, another koopa storm trooper got in front of him.

"I'll have some Mac and cheese" the koopa (we'll call him stoopa.) said. "Hey hold on I was here first." "Sorry, gotta hurry up if you want food" stoopa shrugged. "Do you know who I am?" "That's Darth Robert" Spamma nodded.

"No Im not Darth Robert, Im Darth Reala." Reala corrected. "But Darth Robert runs the death ideya." Stoopa replied in a know-it-all kinda way. "No, I run the death star. Im Darth Reala" "Oh your Darth Robert's brother, can you get me his autograph?"

Reala nearly imploded "NO! GET ME PANATELAS SOUP! OR I'LL KILL YOU WITH A TRAY! DEATH BY TRAY IT SHALL BE." "Whoa… want some peas with that?" Spamma asked. "Why OF COURSE NOT!" Reala screamed. He grabbed the scalding hot soup and walked off to eat it while he was still out of therapy.

-Later on mars-

Rook's Game Boy Color shaped convertible stops in front of a bar. "Here it is Mars Ruffian Space port. We're sure to find someone to get us to Aalderan. " Rook grinned. "Seems nice" Devi noted, watching a drunken old guy getting flung out a window. "Ditto" NiGHTS smiled and entered with Rook and Devi in tow, ignoring the pink stretchy Pokemon staring at him.

The entire port was infested with different creatures from humans to Nightmaren to hedgehogs to a kitsune … wait a kitsune? Eh, anyways NiGHTS walked past an arm wrestle and through a drunken fight to a barstool. "What do you want?" the barkeeper grumbled, spitting into a bucket. "You got soda-pop?" NiGHTS asked hopefully. "Uh…here's some Astro cola…" NiGHTS thanked him and popped it open.

He began to drink some and was shoved by someone. Turning around he saw someone screaming at him. "WHY DON'T YOU DRINK A BEER LIKE A MAN?! I SHUD KICK YOU!" "Uh, cause I don't wanna throw my life down the drain?"

The drunken Neptunian took a moment to empty his stomach behind a designated hurling area before continuing. "Oh really? Well… duuuhh…" the march of the toreadors started playing and everyone began to sing other than our, er… heroes.

_Oh... what is the malt and liquor?  
What gets you drunken quicker?  
What comes in bottles or in cans? Beer!  
Can't get enough of it Beer!  
How we really love it Beer!  
Makes me think I'm a man Beer!_

NiGHTS was surrounded by drunken species of every kind. Each of them holding a kind of drink filled to the brim with alcohol.

_  
I could kiss and hug it Beer!  
But I'd rather chug it Beer!  
Got my belly up to here Beer!  
I could not refuse a Beer!  
I could really use a beer, beer, beer_

NiGHTS tried to sneak away but unfortunately he was boxed in.

_Drink with your family  
Drink it with your friends  
Drink till you're fat, stomach distends  
Beer is liquid bread, it's good for you  
we like to drink till we spew! EW!  
Who cares if we get fat?  
I'll drink to that _

as we sing once more... 

NiGHTS was nearly splashed by various drinks and tried to hack away from them by spilling soda everywhere. It worked until the can was dry but by that time he escaped and ran to where he believed Rook to be.

"So you need someone to bring you to Aalderan." The strange person with a hat covering his eyes said, sipping some of his Cola. Next to him was a furry Nightmaren holding a banana and brimming with insanity Chewjackle. "Yep. And I'm willing to pay big for it." Rook placed a large money bag on the counter that he won from a Pokemon around the world tournament.

"Well good because my freight company is in dept again. 10000 freakin pokos. I mean seriously, this trainee loses gold carrots to space bunnies, no offense R2, and we lose half our stock!" The stranger removed his hat to reveal… Han Olimar! (From pikmin, y'know. Rook was going to be Han solo first but I thought since Captain Olimar got into brawl, Im throwing him in the fic. He does fly a spaceship anyways.)

"Oh hey NiGHTS, what took ya?" Devi asked a battered and soaking with alcohol. "Oh nothing." NiGHTS grumbled, wiping the toxic drink from his eyes. "Well we're ready when you are. C'mon Jackle." Olimar stood up and walked off. Jackle made a gargling noise and then spit out a wad of liquid at a sailor. "MOUTHWASH IS SPICY!" Jackle screamed and ran off. Paul soon followed along with the other three.

-Parking lot-

Olimar removed the bird-poo covered sheets off his space ship and revealed a sparkling silver ship, with a glowing front and massive engines it was a sight to behold. "Your expecting us to go to Aalderan on that little thing? What a waste of money" Devi scoffed. "Thanks this was my fathers, he died of heart cancer from the fossil fuels that you use everyday. How do you feel now?" Olimar replied in abit of a harsh tone to quiet Devi.

Paul walked up to the ship and began to crawl up the side and went in. "well he's got the right idea… wait, I LEFT THE PIKPIK CARROTS IN THERE!" Olimar ran into the ship with everyone else who were abit reluctant. Inside the ship was a lot bigger than it seemed, actually it was like half of a football field in there.

"Subspace pockets dontcha just love em?" Olimar grinned and grabbed his pikpik carrots back from Paul, placing them where he wouldn't dare to get them… next to a bar of soap (bunny fact 27 bunnies don't like taking baths) What no one noticed was that kitsune from earlier was sleeping in the back with a lampshade on his head. "All systems ready, main thrusters at 30. Jackle, begin countdown." Olimar pressed several buttons and flicked four switches.

"TEN, NINE, FOURTY THREE, HOT DOG, ELEVENTY SIX, OTHER NUMBERS BLAST OFF!" Jackle screamed and pressed a giant red button, sending the ship into space. "Whoa, that was a rush" NiGHTS nearly fell over, but Devi was having the most problems. "This is like Mission space at Disney only I don't need the bag. I still feel the sickness though." Devi would have turned greener if he wasn't already.

"HEY! Not on the leather seats, I just had this thing cleaned and updated yesterday!" Olimar complained and threw Devi a bag just in case. "Really? What's the light-years on this thing?" Rook asked, leaning back in his seat and putting his feet up on R2-Paul, who didn't mind at all as he was busy chewing on a screwdriver.

"Well on hyper space it can go up to 40000 light years a minute." Olimar boasted proudly. "Wow impressive" NiGHTS nodded. "That reminds me, strap yourselves in because Im gonna make the jump to hyper space to get there faster." Of course you never question a ship pilot because they're smarter than you most of the time. Jackle pressed a big green button and the entire ship was surrounded in neon lights, they had entered hyperspace.

"Man this stuff is so freaky sometimes" Olimar shivered. The flashing lights could cause a seizer if looked at for too long. NiGHTS looked back for a moment and saw the kitsune for the second time today. "Hey who's that guy?" NiGHTS asked. "Oh that's just a quiet guy who just types all day on a typewriter." Jackle shrugged and went back to playing chess with Paul.

Finally they reached Aalderan just in time to witness it being destroyed.

-On the Death Ideya-

"So Melecy, we will now use our giant laser to blow up Aalderan! MUAHAHAHA! Laughed Bleck" laughed Governor Bleck. "So?" Ex-princess Melecy simply shrugged and went back to looking at a magazine while Stormkoopa troopers polished her finger nails. "Dude, she's not all mad. Should we do it?" Bleck whispered to the not so dynamic duo of Wiseman and Reala.

"Heck yeah, I want some fireworks" Wiseman grinned. "Reala WANT BIG BOOM!" Reala screamed randomly before being flattened by a walrus that came out of nowhere. "Anyways, FIRE SUPER ULTRA FIREY SPARKLE BOOTLEG MASTER ECLIPSE CANNON WATER GUN!" Bleck commanded. Stoopa Troopa pulled levers and turned knobs. The Death Ideya slowly powered up a blast and shot an enormous laser at Aalderan that spelled out "Samantha, will you marry me?" on the planet's surface.

There was an awwww moment before the planet exploded and of course whoever Samantha is said yes I mean if someone proposed to you by firing a laser at a planet and writing your name on it, what would you say hm?

-The S.S Dolphin (Olimar's ship)-

Our crew watched as the laser wrote the proposal and also awed, not really caring that the planet just blew up. "That was fun; let's go land on that moon and break-dance." NiGHTS suggested. Of course they all agreed and made course for the moon. "That's not a moon, it's a space station!" Devi pointed as they landed.

Stormkoopa troopers just had to come onto the ship, where they were beat senseless and their uniforms stolen. Everyone had gotten a disguise except for Devi, Jackle and R2-Paul. "Okay let's go. I'll turn off the magnet that's keeping the ship here while you guys go find Melecy." Olimar said. "I'll come with you for back up" Devi added and soon the group split up.

"Okay so let's see, the cells should be on that side. Just stay calm and act normal" Rook said. "OKAYS. AAAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Jackle began screaming his head off. Soon enough everyone was looking. NiGHTS was quick on his head and thought of something. "Uh, HE'S GONNA BLOW! MOVE IT HE'S GOT A WEAK BLADDER!" NiGHTS dragged Jackle along while Paul and Rook followed.

Everyone had bought the idea since it's not everyday that you see a furry screaming dude. It worked until they found the cells. R2-Paul thought he saw a walking carrot and ran off by himself. It was confirmed, Melecy wasn't in the cells. But then there was the door at the end. "It's a long shot but it might be what we're looking for" Rook carefully opened the door and to his surprise it was a spa room. And guess who's getting full treatment?

"Ugh, guys rescue me later. I'll be in the Jacuzzi, no calls and I will kick anyone who goes in there with berries." Melecy threatened, slamming the door on them. After about five minutes, Melecy walked out of the spa room in her white robe thingy. "Okay let's get out of here". "Fine, let's go down the garbage chute then. It's the fastest way." Rook suggested and jumped down the chute, Jackle following happily.

"You got to be kidding me, there's no way I'm gonna jump down there." Melecy crossed her arms and turned away. NiGHTS threw a coupon for a free massage down the chute and of course Melecy jumped after it because of the stress levels she goes through. NiGHTS smiled and jumped down the chute, landing in a pile of slime along with everyone else except for Melecy who was being carried by Rook.

"You have three seconds to put me down or else I'll-" "What? Get your new clothes dirty?" Rook smirked. "Good point. Alright but no funny stuff" Melecy made sure to keep the robe as far from the muck as possible. You know what happens next, the walls started closing in. "oh great, Im CLAUSTROPHOBIC!" Jackle screamed, whacking his head on the door.

On the other side, Paul had found a large keypad with blinking lights that he couldn't read. So he just jumped onto of it and danced, causing it to overload and blow open the door. Our heroes, and Jackle, took the chance and ran out of the compactor just before it closed. "WE MADE IT!" Jackle said excitedly. Paul danced s'more and followed NiGHTS and Jackle away. "Rook, we're out of the garbage compactor, you can put me down now." Melecy crossed her arms.

"I could, but are you sure you want me to? This is more fun anyways" Rook smirked. Melecy kept her promise and kicked Rook over onto the floor. "That was more fun. Oh and Rook?" Melecy asked. Rook looked up, ignoring the searing pain in his eye. "Thanks….. Now get your rear in gear and let's go" Melecy walked off, leaving Rook to get up and follow.

-Control panel-

Devi and Olimar sneaked their way to a large lever that said 'do not pull'. "This must be it" Olimar reached for it but was stopped by Devi. "Can't you read? It says do not pull, you can't pull it." Devi pointed at the sign. "Sorry Im a born lever-puller" Olimar pulled the lever, which turned off the magnet and also alerted someone.

The two snuck away until they were caught by Wiseman and Reala, obviously. "Well it looks like someone's trying to escape." Wiseman pulled out a Wiisaber for each of his hands while Reala pulled out a double ended one. "Dude no fair; you get to be Darth Vader and Grievous." Reala mumbled. "Well Im sure we will escape." Olimar pulled out…a rubber chicken… But Devi was prepared and had stolen one of Rook's Wiisabers.

"Bring it on" Devi smirked, activating the Wiisaber and to his surprise it was an orange color. Olimar didn't want to feel left out so he kicked Wiseman and stole one of his Wiisabers. It instantly changed into Wiisaber nun-chucks. Eh, it was still a weapon.

"CHARGE!" Wiseman screamed and attacked Olimar while Reala handled Devi. Olimar skillfully whipped the wii-chucks around and managed to parry Wiseman's attacks. Devi of course was having mischief by his magic. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Devi grinned and turned Reala into a bedspread. It was for a few seconds only because NiGHTS had interrupted.

"OLIMAR!" he yelled. "Oh hi NiGHTS" Olimar waved, in fact everyone stopped fighting to wave and then resumed. But then, the unexpected and horrible thump.

"Oh no…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Wiseman screamed. "THERE'S A REASON WHY YOU DON'T TOUCH THE LEVER! IT ALSO LETS LOOSE A HORRIBLE DISGUSTING MONSTER! This is stupid but true." Reala screamed.

A loud screech was heard and from the corner came the most horrible monster to ever exist, a stomach turning, gut wrenching horror…Hannah Montana. "LOOK OUT FOR THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS SCREECH!" The music began playing and the entire ship was immobilized from the horrible tunes. "NIGHTS! BEFORE I AAAAUGH, DIE I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Wiseman groaned. "What is it?" "I AM YOUR FATHER!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! oh wait silly, I knew that already."

"Our eardrums will explode in a minute, the horrible music! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Rook was on the floor twitching and covering his ears to no avail. "Rook, I…" Melecy began but was interrupted. "I know, you like me and stuff right?" "Uh, no not at all, your shoe's untied" Melecy explained. Their eardrums would burst in 20 seconds.

"ATLEAST WE DIE TOGETHER-""BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST OF BOTH WEEEEEEEEEEEERLDZ!" "OH GREAT, THE IDIOT'S NOT EVEN USING REAL WORDS ANYMORE!"

The eardrums will explode in 5…….4………..3………2……..1…………………….

"I'MA FREAKIN BUNNIE!" ROCK!

There was a huge explosion as Paul and his band, The Raving Rabbids (including Kamikaze's Ringo, John, and George bunnies. ROCK!)

"YOU'RE A FREAKIN BUNNIE!" ROCK!

Paul and the Hannah monster fought in a contest of rock vs. crappy mouth-singing. Unfortunately the later was winning until Paul went into complete overhaul magician rock bunny. That was enough to defeat the evil one and melt her into a cockroach that was stepped on by Paul himself.

"...okay now i know why they warn people not to stay two inches away from the tv" Rook blinked. "hey let's go do cool stuff like play basketball and juggle!" Devi suggested. "and knit fluffy sweaters!" Wiseman added only to get vaporised by Bobba jet.

------------------------------

_And thus ends the 4th and a half chapter of NiGHTS star wars, the evil 3-d Hannah monstana was defeated by rabbids and good music was played. Reala and Wiseman left the death star for now and are in vacation at Double tree hotel._

_Paul got a job as Bass and singer in The Raving Rabbids. NiGHTS learned how to use the Bluetooth and hangs out with Devi and the others everyday. Devi found a job as a magician, and is known now as Devi the not-so great but still cool!_

_And as for Rook and Melecy? Well Rook continued to befriend Melecy in more than a friend kinda way, but it hasn't worked that well…… actually she is a lot nicer around him._

_Anyways review cause this thing took a month of planning, deleting bad jokes, and finding characters. Thanks for reading, Lex_

_... what are you still reading for? oh right, you might not know who was who so let's type that now._

Main charracters

NiGHTS(NiGHTS into Dreams), as luke skywalker

Reala(NiGHTS into Dreams), as Darth Maul

Wiseman (NiGHTS into Dreams), as Darth Vader

Jackle (NiGHTS into Dreams), as Chubacca

Melecy(Lex's imagination), as Princess leia

Rook (Lex's imagination), as Obi Wan (yeah i know he was s'posed to die)

Bowsers henchmen(Mario Bros), as the Stormtroopers

Captain Olimar(Pikmin), as han solo

Paul(Raving Rabbids), as R2-D2

Support/cameo charries

Lash (The Life of Dc the chao) as Yoda

Count Bleck (super paper mario) as Govenor Tarkens

Puffy(Nights into Dreams), as Aunt Berue

Jet the hawk (sonic riders), as Bobba Fett

The Raving Rabbids band(excluding paul, from Kamikaze's disturbed mind) as themselves

Pokemon Ranger (Pokemon Ranger), as the Tusken Raider

And unfortunatly, hannah montana as her fat ugly self. (once again, i just dont like her...coughMOUTHSINGER!cough

_there ya go, i even included the series that they are from. see ya... stop reading._


	9. President of NiGHTS, part 1

So uh, people are voting for a new president here in the US (the country everyone loves to hate to love to annoy!) and I'm gonna take advantage of it to write a fic about it. This will be a different one though, an election for president of 101 NiGHTS. Here are our candidates:

NiGHTS

Jackle

Reala

Devi

Melecy

And Rook

Who will win? Well one thing's for sure, I don't own NiGHTS Jackle or Reala. But Devi, Rook, and Melecy are mine. We now go to Captain Olimar, who is providing us a bootleg version on the election.

------

The camera changed to one with REC on the corner, constantly moving trying to zoom in on the stage until it found a good spot and stayed still. A green kitsune walked up onto the stage and officially began the election. Hundreds of fans of the fic (okay, maybe not hundreds but still….) began to quiet down as the first candidate began his 'speech'.

"Uh, hello? This on? Hypotenuse… okay it works. Hi everybody!" NiGHTS smiled. "Hi NiGHTS" everyone said. "Hurry up will you?" Reala scoffed, tapping his claws against the wooden podium boredly. "Oh quiet. Uh, hi. I think I'll be a good president, and I'll give jawbreakers to everyone! Free candy! And I promise more insanity in the chapters. Vote yes on NiGHTS!" the purple jester bowed a moment and enjoyed applause before it was Reala's turn to begin his speech.

"Do I have to go over this? Vote for me or I'll cut your throat out and stuff my thanksgiving turkey with your intestines, yada-yada-yada. Vote for me." Reala said boredly, dodging a lamp thrown at him. "You'll never get them by insulting them Reala" Rook said from his podium. "SILENCE!" Rook barely dodged a flying pen.

(un?)Fortunately, Jackle was next. "HEY ALL YOU SHOELACES! I LIKE BEDSPREADS WITH SCREWDRIVERS AND ORANGE SHOPPING CARTS!" Jackle screamed, even though his mic wasn't plugged in he was loud enough to hear. The crowd was of course amused, impressed, disturbed, and mentally unstable all together. We don't know what happened first.

In this case it was ladies fourth, meaning our own (COUGHYOUNGERCOUGH) Hillary was up next. "Isn't it obvious? Vote for me NOW! I MEAN IT! Don't even think about voting for any of those mutton-heads." Apparently, Melecy can't have more than one half of a sweet 'n low in her tea, it always makes her abit agitated.

Up next was our little mischief maker, Devi. The little maren simply took out a pocket watch and began moving it side-to-side. "You are getting very sleepy. Veeeery sleepy……very….." Devi's head smacked against the podium, he didn't realize that he had the watch backwards.

Rook had to take advantage of it while he could. "Getting picked on by? Zombies got you down? Well vote for me! I got plenty of ways to stop baddies, from Goombas to Ganondorf; I know how to beat em all. Vote for me and you won't worry at all!" Rook Grinned as gamers in the crowd started to cheer.

"Please, Rook could be easily distracted with a game. He's playing Pac-man right now!" Reala pointed out as Rook tried to hide an arcade machine behind a bush. "Well now we debate the-" the doors busted open, and at the entryway stood…..

"Paul?!" everyone had said at the same time. Indeed the Rabbid was standing in the open doorway, wearing his usual Naruto Rabbid outfit. He slowly made his way to a podium (after knocking Reala off his) and stopped for a moment. There was total silence………………

Paul lifted his microphone for a moment, opening his mouth as if to talk…..and ate the microphone. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" was all he said before he gave the podium back to Reala. (Paul is my Rabbid; I didn't mention him earlier because I wanted a surprise.)

"Well folks it's time to cast your ballets, though since we have a shortage of pencils and paper, you'll have to go to LextheKitsune's author page and on the top of the page vote for at most two characters that you think should be president of 101 NiGHTS. The winner will win this mystery prize said Bleck" said anonymous.

A giant object(s) fell from the sky covered with a white blanket. NiGHTS' eyes gleamed thinking it could be a life-time supply of jawbreakers. Reala grinned, knowing it would be a weapon of mass destruction. Jackle scratched his head thinking it was a bottle of motor-oil. Rook already was thinking that it was a 7K gold statue of Mario. Melecy was hoping it was a free trip to Hawaii all expenses paid with a spa. Devi's mind came up with all sorts of things that he could do if it was a magic wand upgrade. And Paul? He licked his lips at what could have been a year's supply of carrots.

So vote now! Seriously.


	10. President of NiGHTS, part 2

Welcome back! Olimar's back from his bathroom break and is now showing us the results.

"Thanks for sending in your votes folks, and if you didn't then there's nothing we can do about it. YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME!!!!!... Anyhoo, we'd like to thank Koopa Crispies for your donations"

A large mascot koopa with bite marks on his head waved as applause started. "Okay settles down, here are the results." The kitsune lifted an envelope from a purple pillow and began to open it…. "And the president is….." the Kitsune began, but was semi-blinded from videogames that he couldn't see very well and it took him a while to read it.

NiGHTS tapped his fingers on his podium excitedly, Reala shifted his eyes to make sure no one was watching him pet his cat Whiskers, Jackle paused his gnawing on a ketchup bottle, Rook hurriedly tried to make it to the save point in his Crash Bandicoot DS game, Devi plotted a way to distract everyone so he could rig the votes with tricks, and of course Melecy was bored as ever.

But when he finally read it, the winner was….. "I don't believe it….WE HAVE A THREE-WAY TIE!" The Kitsune exclaimed. It was true, the votes had been counted and NiGHTS, Jackle, and Rook were the ones with the most votes (evenly, check it out. On my page). Paul, Devi, and Reala were runner ups and as for Melecy?

Not a single vote…… oh well whatever. "So in the event of a tie there would be a coin toss, but since it's 3 we'll have to have a party! Whoever gets the most stars wins!" a small mushroom creature said. "Nope, now shut up. In the event of a 3-way tie then there's gonna be a re-count." The Kitsune (y'know what, it's me alright?) sorry, anyway Lex pressed a few buttons and trap doors opened up under Devi, Reala, and Melecy's feet.

Paul stayed because he was with Lex but other than him the only ones remaining were NiGHTS, Jackle, and Rook. "Okay folks we'll vote right……now, you got a few more days so DON'T MISS IT!" Lex grinned and the votes began once more…

Aaaaaaand, END FIC!

To be continued…


	11. the 101 double whammy freakin ect prt 1

Aint it saint Patrick's day or Easter or somethin

Aint it saint Patrick's day or Easter or somethin? Whatever, this is a double whammy special including both holidays. Freakin sweet aint it? Roll fic! Oh wait, I don't own anyone other than Rook, Melecy, or Devi.

101 double whammy freakin sweet saint Easters holiday special part 1

-Nightmare square-

_Tis the season not to say Tis the season, but it is a season to wear green. Seriously, in Nightmare they take it seriously._

"HEY, THAT GUY ISN'T WEARING GREEN!" one Nightmaren screamed. Everyone looked at one person…Reala. He hated these holidays, but that didn't matter because he was about to get mobbed. So he did the logical thing and flew as fast as he can, only to be tackled by none other that Jackle who was wearing a green vest. "RAWR!"

The next thing he knew, Reala could no longer feel his arm and was pinched from hat to foot. The ex-leader of a Nightmaren army brought down to that. It's a good thing NiGHTS was gone-

"HELLLLLOOOOOO LAZY!" oh dear Wiseman… of course it was NiGHTS, wearing a green hat with clovers hanging from the horns, and his shoes were shaped like eggs. "What are you doing here?" Reala was ready to cut his head off…oh wait, it floats so that wouldn't work.

"Well they let me back on holidays most of the time. Isn't that great?" NiGHTS smiled, though Reala was suicidal. He'd jump into the street once he felt his legs again. "Swell. Do me a favor and whack a bottle on my head." The nearest insane person, who happened to be Jackle, took it wrong and threw a plastic bottle at Reala.

"FISH PASTE!" Jackle screamed, dragging Reala away to the nearby train station. Nightmaren don't use trains, but they had a station anyway. "Jackle where'd you get that vest?" NiGHTS asked, his clothes automatically changed since he signed up with the seasonal plan of Verison Wireless. If he didn't the network would get him.

_Flashback_

_NiGHTS flew down a dark alley, looking around nervously until he was surrounded by millions of other Nightmaren all wearing hard hat helmets. "Hello NiGHTS…we heard you wanted to go to AT&T, I thought we had this talk already." One of them said, holding a crowbar shaped like a cell phone. "Uh hey guys…uh, I would never change networks. You know it." NiGHTS laughed nervously, backing up as the network closed in on him._

NiGHTS gulped as he saw a network person staring at him from the power lines. "It's not a vest, it's the gory flesh of a Yoshi!" Jackle said, having a small insane moment before he got to the station. It was just like the billboard said, although no one likes Bill Board, There was an Easter Ideya hunt and everyone was invited unless you're a Jew…just kidding Jews too but no one from High school Musical.

Who was hosting this? None other than Rook of course. "Okay is everyone here?" Rook asked, although by everyone he meant NiGHTS, Reala, Jackle, Melecy, Devi, and a bum that was reading a newspaper. "Okay, so there are ideya hidden everywhere here and whoever finds the most gets this…"Rook paused for drama and took out a safe, clicking several numbers and taking out….A NEW COPY OF SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL!

Everyone got the instant shiny eyes, NiGHTS thought it was a book, Reala thought about the ideya, Devi thought he could hack it, Melecy thought she could sell it, the bum thought he could eat it, and since when did Jackle ever think? "Not only is it mint, but it includes bonus commentary, watch!" Rook pressed START and the commentary began with Sonic.

"Oh I remember when I first wanted to get into smash bros like it was yesterday. Actually it was some years back in Melee." The blue hedgehog sighed, rolling a clip.

_Another flashback_

_Sonic looked around the smash bros mansion, a lot of people wanted to get in Melee, even Solid Snake was there. Mario walked in and nearly dropped his TV dinner, he couldn't let Sonic into Melee, he'd take his spotlight! Sonic zipped over to the red plumber "Hey sup? Where do you sign up here? I'm itching to fight, y'know?" Sonic hopped from one foot to the other. "Uh yeah, sign up in that room that says DANGER. That's just a warning for weaker people." Mario pointed and Sonic zipped off into the room._

_Of course he did fall 40 feet into a pool full of rabid electric eels and everyone knows that Sonic can't swim so yeah…_

_30 minutes later_

_A shaky gloved hand grabbed onto the ledge, pulling a bleeding, shocked, and soaking wet Sonic onto the carpet gasping for air. Mario walked by holding a diet Shroom Shake. "I am going to kick…your…ass" Sonic growled._

_End flashback_

"So without any further delay, let the hunt begin!" Rook would have shot a laser blaster into the sky but he didn't want to remove it from its original packaging. The hunters ran off to find the ideyas, each of them thinking of their goals.


	12. A very important announcement

Alright, I know I need to finish the other half of the special but I need to make an announcement about an awesome 3-part fic

Alright, I know I need to finish the other half of the special but I need to make an announcement about an awesome 3-part fic that I've been working on (which is why I haven't updated as much.) it's called NiGHTS: Dawn of Nightmares.

I won't show you everything, but I will show you some things that are sweet. There's a lot of action. _NiGHTS Leapt from the top of the skyscraper, twirling in the air until that figure tackled him in midair, sending him flying through the stainless steel windows just as the building exploded._

Plenty of adventurous parts. _"So find that scepter, bring it over here and set off to Pepperland, right?" Devi asked, propping his feet up on the table. Olimar nodded "Yep, but it will be a lot harder than it sounds. I won't go incase Nero comes back but you should be fine." Paul looked out the window, and saw that same kitsune from before. "DAAAAAAAAAAH!" Paul ran past Devi and Reala just as the wall was blasted into pieces by the insane ice cold cyborg. _

It's packed with some awesome songs. _Everyday, every night without it's like a_

_Burning red star._

_But there's no other any where_

_No where near or far._

_The capturers faces looked unthawed, not impressed yet but that just meant NiGHTS would have to step it up._

_There isn't anywhere else I'd be_

_Not Nightmare, Flat zone, or Chucky Cheese_

_Cause there's no other place like, another place like HOOOOOOOOOOOME!_

A bunch of suspense too. "_Reala, it's a trick, you know me." "Don't listen Reala, you have to believe me." "SHOOT THAT ONE OR I'LL RIP YOUR SKULL OUT!" "SHOOT THAT ONE OR I'LL USE YOUR SPINAL CORD AS A JUMPROPE!" Reala shifted the desert eagle from one Melecy clone to the other; he had no idea which one it was. That's when he turned it on himself._

Of course there's comedy. _"How many chucks could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" the guardian asked. Jackle stepped up to the challenge. "A woodchuck, if it could chuck wood would chuck 42 wood chucks. Although we will never know, since woodchucks can't chuck wood."_

And we can't have it without some other moments. _"Rook! Let go of the game, I'll pull you up." "Never! Its collector's edition with an included gold encrusted wii remote!" The magma rose higher, bubbling like the earths stomach acids. "Let go or you'll get us all killed!" "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt but I CAN'T FREAKIN HOLD ON MUCH LONGER DAMMIT MY HANDS ARE MELTING." Olimar screamed, hanging onto the scepter as tight as he could, though it was already removing itself from the rocks slowly._

_Rook looked at the magma, then at the game, then at the magma again. There was only one thing left to do, as he was only a foot away from the boiling rock._

That's all I can tell you, I'm doing it as great as I can guys so look out for when I post it. Oh and by the way, Smash bros Brawl is OWNAGE!


	13. to keep you entertained

This is not a part of Dawn of Nightmares (the ultra chapters) this is just to hold you off so you don't grow bored

This is not a part of Dawn of Nightmares (the ultra chapters) this is just to hold you off so you don't grow bored. Basically Reala needs peace, but does he get any? I dunno, this is based off something that happened to me before (kid wouldn't leave me the heck alone)

I don't own NiGHTS, Jackle, or Reala. Or Wiseman…

I own Rook, Devi, Paul and Melecy.

-Reala's room-

Reala awoke from his slumber, stretching and getting out of the chair he used for a bed. What, yawn? Nightmaren do not yawn! Much. Reala floated semi-awake to the calendar on the wall. "Let's see…wait…YIPPPIE!! Uh, I mean….uhhh…er…eh screw it IM OFF WORK!! WOOOOOOT!" This was one of the only moments Reala would smile without it being evil.

Today was his day off, no jobs, no threatening NiGHTS, no stupid pointless fan fiction, and no rehearsal for that ultra chapter. 'This deserves a well needed rest' Reala thought as he floated back to his chair and tucked himself in with the spiny blankets. Suddenly the doors were busted open by Devi, who was dressed in his magician outfit.

"Hey Reala wanna see my magic tricks?" Devi asked, pulling a magic wand out of nowhere. "No." Reala said, pulling the covers over his head. He just realized that he wasn't wearing his hat…oh wait what kind of maren would he be if he wore a hat to bed?

"Oh come on!" Devi said, pulling the covers down. "Fine, go and disappear." Reala scoffed and put a pillow over his head. "Reala! Why are you always so meaning?" "Cause" "Cause why?" "Cause I feel like it." "Why do you feel like it?" "BECAUSE IT'S MY FLIPPIN DAY OFF!!" the room shook, startling Devi to draw back abit.

"EVERYDAY I DEAL WITH YOU, ROOK, JACKLE, OR WISEMAN! I CANT HAVE A SINGLE DAY WITHOUT YOU BOTHERING ME!" Reala screamed, leaving Devi standing there speechless. "…….." What's wrong with him now? "………" Is he asthmatic? Why is he breathing like that? "………." Are his eyes itchy or something? Why are they watering? …..oh wait a moment…

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" oh that had to be coming. "Devi, calm down. I-" "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Jeez, what's wrong with kids these days? All he did was tell him to go away… "Devi-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"De-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"I didn't mean to-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! YOU BIG MEANIE! ALL I WAS GONNA DO IS SHOW YOU A MAGIC TRICK I FOUND ON THE BACK OF A CEREAL BOX YOU INCONSIDERATE, LLAMMA LICKING, PEA-HEARTED BAG OF COW-!" this long list of names went on for about 3 more hours, surprisingly with no breaks in between.

Reala started, and to his surprise, feeling bad. He cautiously put a claw on Devi's shoulder. That was all it took as a blinding cloud poofed the entire room as Devi's specialty came into effect, trickery.

-50 minutes later-

Reala was still wiping mascara off his face, that Devi was a clever little bugger. Fake tears, screaming, and then the finishing it with the most humiliating spell Devi had under his coat, the transgender spell. To boot he had been kicked out of his room so Devi could practice magic without making it permanent.

"Lousy little brat" Reala growled, the spell was wearing off but not as fast as the others. "Have to hand it to him; he can whip up a good spell." Reala grumbled as the spell wore off completely, allowing him to go somewhere else to relax.

-Nightmare park-

Reala sighed as he watched a lake made of liquid darkness go up, down, up, down…this was the way to spend a day off. Just floating, with a relaxing scene to- "HEY REALA!" Jackle popped out of nowhere, causing Reala to fall to the ground. "HI REALA! I WAS JUST FLOATING IN CIRCLES CHASING A DREAM GOPHER AND YOU WERE THERE AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI AND WHAT'S WITH THE LIPSTICK?!" Jackle screamed.

Lipstick? Oh that's right, Devi's spell. Wait didn't it wear off already? Must have forgotten to. "Jackle leave me alone." Reala grumbled and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "OKAY!" Jackle said and floated off only to come back and pounce on him. "MOMMY!" Jackle screamed. Reala growled and knocked Jackle off him.

"AM I A HATED CHILD?!" Jackle pondered this before chasing a leaf. "He'll be back, I have to go elsewhere" Reala floated off while Jackle threw his shoe at a garden gnome.

-Arcade Aardvark-

The biggest and loudest arcade ever, Arcade aardvark was a place that normally was noisy. Not on weekdays, for nerds and gamers went to school/work/beg on weekdays. So there seldom was anyone in there. Reala rested in mid air next to a shooting game, watching the pointless bloody intro over and over again. Suddenly there was a cling, the sound ringing through the arcade.

"Who's there?" Reala asked, sitting upright all of the sudden. There was another sound, and beeping was heard from the far other side of the arcade. Reala floated slowly towards the figure, which was currently standing in front of a Mario bros machine. Reala tapped the figure on the shoulder, which in turn did the kind thing of kicking him in the face.

"WAIT YOUR TURN!! Wait a sec? Reala? Oh sorry bout that. It'll heal" Rook grinned and turned back to the game. "Ugh, I feel woozy." Reala grumbled his head pounding as he looked into a nearby mirror on the wall. Wow that left a pretty big mark; in fact it looked like he was entirely red. He would have knocked Rook out for that if he wasn't seeing eighty of him.

"Hey wanna play? One game, I'll go easy on you" Rook suggested. Reala did need something to distract him from the horrible brain crushing pain, so he agreed. "Lets see, two players and GO!" almost immediately the screen changed. Unlike most gamers who get a you win screen, Rook always got the HOLY FREAKING SHNITZLES screen instead.

"Oooo, that's too bad. One more time" Rook pressed two players again with the same results. "dude your slow" Rook grinned and pressed it again, this time Reala had a two second start before the results came up the same again. "One more time!"

-Forty minutes later-

Reala slumped against the game with bloodshot eyes, watching as Rook blew up the Death Egg for the umpteenth time. "I think my eyes are melting." Reala groaned, falling to the floor and crawling slowly out of the arcade.

-Nightmare shopping mall-

In search of a relaxing spot and a thousand tons of eye drops Reala looked to the mall, which was not relaxing at all. Though there were places that specialized in relaxation, unfortunately those places were torn down.

Reala took advice from some science guy and went to go see a hypnotherepist. "I predicted your arrival, unfortunately I couldn't stop it." Melecy said, boredly tapping her nails on a crystal ball. "Uh-huh, wait aren't you supposed to hypnotize people not tell their futures?" Reala asked.

"Eh, same thing. Either way you're not getting any smarter" Melecy shrugged. "Just do the prediction thing." "Fine"

"Oh spirits of the something, send me a blah blah blah, whatever. I predict every house has a bathroom."

Reala frowned "Do it for real, I already knew that." "Oh someone went to College." How she came up with insults on the spot, no one knew. "Fine. I'll need you to provide a few things".

-10 minutes later-

"Okay, I brought the flat screen TV, a thousand Pokos, a diamond ring, John Lennon's ear, a boat, years worth of magazines, and ten houses filled with clothes." Reala said wondering why all that was needed for a fortune telling or hypnotherapy. "Great, now bring me the head of Bill Gates! The body and limbs would be nice too. Gift wrap it and put a nice label on it." Melecy instructed.

-2 hours later-

Reala dragged a large gift box into the shop "EBay was out of Bill Gates so I brought Steven Hawking instead." Reala was practically dead from dragging a genius and his wheel chair in a box all the way back there. "Right, that's all I need. On with the prediction" Melecy simply poked the ball, causing it to tip over and reveal a button. She pressed it and a small ticket came out.

"Huh, strange. It says 'you found the golden ticket! Congratulations, you've won a trip to Jackle's Jawbreaker factory' eh." Melecy shrugged and pressed another button, sending Reala down a trap door into darkness.

-Unknown area-

As Reala landed, he remembered he could fly but it was too late as the doors had already closed. Reala glanced around, seeing that he had landed in a room with a cardboard box in the middle. Reala shrugged and lifted the box, revealing…a bunny dressed as solid snake? Oh no wait it was just Paul.

Paul tilted his head, staring at Reala for a moment before jumping up, stealing his hat, and running away. "WHY YOU, GET BACK HERE WITH MY HAT!" Reala gave chase, though Paul was fast for a Rabbid. He chased him down an air vent, through a hall, past a Holey Grail, and to an empty pitch black room.

There was a box in the room, Reala grinned at Paul's stupidity. He lifted the box to find…nothing? The lights switched on revealing ten more boxes, then twenty, then fifty, then a hundred, then thousands. It was a cardboard box factory, with the announcer to how it's made sitting in a chair narrating all this.

Reala turned over another box, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another until…… oh wait never mind, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another.

Reala took a moment to breath after the 121st or so box (yes I actually counted, lost count abit though….I GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!) There had to be an easier way to find Paul. Reala kicked a box, hearing an 'ouch' he lifted it to find the actual Solid Snake. "GIT YOUR OWN BOX!" he screamed, kicking Reala in the gut, hiding under the box again and shuffling away. Reala fell over, and after a while of clutching his gut in pain he noticed that one box was covered in fur.

He lifted the box to find AN EVIL SPACE MONKEY WITH LEMONS FOR TOENAILS! Just kidding, Paul was hiding under the box playing his Game dude Advance.

Reala snatched his hat back and floated off. If he couldn't have peace in Nightmare, he'd have peace in the waking world.

-Big Ben Tower/clock/ hair care /tire center/ airport /shopping center.-

Reala lied back on the giant hand of the clock tower, looking at all the lights below and the full moon above. There was no way NiGHTS was here, since he was busy sneaking into a candy shop or little kid's rooms.

All of the sudden he was knocked off by some punk red head flying elf guy in tights and his yellow floating pixie thingy.

Reala relaxed, watching the moon shine down on the city, though the light was met with an even brighter light of every single house having all their lights on. No wonder NiGHTS liked this- "HI REALA!" Reala fell off the minute hand, nearly face planting the ground.

"Whoa that was cool, do it again!" NiGHTS smiled. Reala frowned "I can't have a single moment of peace?" he grumbled, floating away with NiGHTS following. "Hey wait up!" NiGHTS said, following close behind.

He followed Reala everywhere, through the desert, past New York, beyond the Great Wall of China, over the Mexican border, into Iraq, to the hospital, out of the hospital, and back to Big Ben. "NiGHTS, why are you following me?" "Cause Im bored" "So go play somewhere else" "But Im following you" "Well stop following me" "but Im bored" "Then go play" "I can't, Im following you" "Stop following me and go play" "But Im bored!!" (this goes on for five more minutes)

"Can't you bother someone else? Jackle? Wiseman?... a poisonous man-eating lizard?" "no" "Why not?" "Cause Im Bor-" "Don't say it, just don't say it." Reala left back to Nightmare, going to the final place that he'd get peace.

-Broom Closet-

Cramped, dark, and smells like a dead rat. The broom closet was not at all like the smash bros broom closet. Still, Reala liked it because no one ever went in there. He stayed there for the rest of the night before he decided to head back to bed…chair, whatever. Reala reached for the doorknob only to have it fall off. "…..SON OF A!" Reala banged on the closet door, trying to open it in any way possible.

--

That ought to hold you for now, remember that the Dawn of Nightmares will be very long so be patient.


	14. The Dawn of Nightmares

I have to admit something…This was gonna be an April fools joke but I decided to actually do it

I have to admit something…This was gonna be an April fools joke but I decided to actually do it. Why? Because I feel like this series needs a long, semi-cliché 3-6 part story. I'm pulling in every character that's worth it, including ones such as Paul, Olimar, and some from other fics that I've written. So without further ado, disclaimer!

Disclaimer: Lex does not own Nights, Jackle, Reala, or any other characters that belong to other people. Lex is also not responsible if you die from waiting for another chapter (these are gonna be long!)

Claimer: I do own Rook, Devi, Melecy, Paul, and many other characters that appear in this fic. Most songs here are owned by me or remixed by me. So for the love of Smash Bros, ask before using.

So let's start the fic already since there was a major delay (I really hate myself for delays.). I warn you, there will be deaths, injuries, and various acts of stupidity, mopping, fights, suspense, references, words, songs, plots, and various other things. Also the characters will have that thingy from brawl (Y'know, like the 'newcomer' thing. Just imagine it, its fun.)

_**101 Nights**_

_**Dawn of Nightmares **_

**Prologue**

**Sewers of New York, 11:45 PM**

Darkness, Toxic Sludge, and whatever you throw down the drain or garbage can ends up here, in the New York sewers. No matter where you live, it's always here. So much waste in one area was never a good idea; it caused mutations in fish, crocodiles, and gerbils. Although this particular entity, a Nightmaren level 1 to boot, was dwelling here strong enough to defeat Wiseman himself and take Nightmare under his cloak but yet…. He couldn't do it.

This maren had gotten the chance to once, defying Wiseman and nearly killed him but he did the one error he shouldn't have done…

He hesitated.

That was all it took, he was banished forever into the very sewers which he gained his powers, sealed in a crystal dripping in acid, his name was considered a taboo in Nightmare because saying it to Wiseman without his approval will get you the guillotine… oh wait most Marens have no necks. Well then you would be tickled to a laughing demise.

So the exiled Nightmaren stayed in these sewers for many years, passing time by asking himself questions and learning from things people dropped into the sewers. Steadily he grew smarter, and through knowledge he grew stronger and soon enough this entity would escape and take over! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

"Oh please that's the lamest story I've ever heard." "Shut up, the readers will love it." "Sure they will, sure they will" "Like they like your freaking Naruto-Beatles fic" "It got more reviews than yours" "You got only one review" "So?" "My NiGHTS fic has 21 and growing" "Jeez people sure do like insanity." "Yep" "Not as much as they like naruto" "No" "Yes" Wait Stop…" "No Go." "Y'know what, I've got insanity to write so goodbye" "I dunno why you say goodbye, I say hello." "…why?" "I dunno." (This has been a conversation with Kamikaze, a good acquaintance of mine)

This has been the prologue; if you are wise you'll read the rest.

**The One way out.**

**New York City, 11:45 pm**

"Tired of bad credit?" "No" "Then you need super purchase!" "But I said-" "The one buying agency that buys anything!" "Anything?" "That's right! Anything" "Wow, isn't that cool" the purple jester said as he tried to talk to the TV in a shop window. "You can buy houses, cars, the white house, anything!" The strange man with the big smile said on the strange magic box.

**NiGHTS**

"Try this now for free, all you need to do is invest" "Invest?" "Yep, invest. I'll tell you all about it!" The salesman said and broke into song.

_  
It is with deepest pride  
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.  
And now we invite you to relax, let us get out a pen and paper as the sales dude proudly presents -  
your product!_

Just, in, vest! Just invest!!  
Put our service to the test  
Get a phone and call us now  
And we'll provide the rest

"Catchy song." NiGHTS smiled. Of course he heard it somewhere before but it didn't matter.

_  
Buy from your home_

_Across the curb  
why, we only live to serve  
try it free  
be the richest  
don't believe me? Ask my bitches!  
Buy some shirts, buy some spats  
after that, dude, buy some pants  
and a purchase here is never second best_

NiGHTS began to add in, as if the TV knew the song was catchy enough for people to sing. (Lex advises for the sake of your neighbor's eardrums not to sing, just kidding…)

_  
Go on, check the web  
Take a glance and then you'll  
just invest!  
Just invest!_

_Just invest!_

Buy some goop  
buy some games  
buying is too easy some might say  
we'll prepare and serve with flair  
just sign there and there and there  
you're alone and you're scared  
buy some guards that come prepared  


By now, NiGHTS and the salesman were singing in unity.

_No customer is gloomy or complaining  
buy some diets, that shirt is straining  
buy some now and I'll do tricks  
with my fellow salesman chicks.  
And it's all in perfect place_

_That you can bet_

_Come on and write some checks  
Complimentary of your author Lex  
so just invest!_

NiGHTS ran into the store, bought the TV and began to fly away with it. Problem was that he paid in Gumballs. The jester zipped up a sky scrapper with the television miraculously still on.

_If you're stressed  
buy a massager, we suggest  
just invest, just invest! Just invest!  
Get your worries off your chest  
It's a money back guarantee  
(Not really, so don't sue me.)  
Buy some shares, buy some phones  
Buy that rock from Indiana Jones_

_It's not so fun to just try  
don't believe me? Ask that guy  
buy some zest; buy some zeal  
buy an entertaining meal!  
How could anyone be gloomy and depressed?  
We'll make you shout "Buy it now!"  
And send us out for more  
so just invest! Just invest!_

_OMG! SOMEONE INVESTED!_

NiGHTS stopped in mid air for a moment as the salesman almost had a heart attack.

_  
Holy schnitzels, well I'll be blessed!  
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord  
I'll have myself finely dressed  
With dessert, I need some tea  
That sucker dies, it's fine with me  
I just want all my money  
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing  
I'll get warm, piping hot  
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?  
Doesn't matter, Im filthy rich!  
We've got a lot to do! Is it one lump or two?  
Two you poor little fool! Uh… I mean  
just invest! Just invest! Just invest!  
Life is so unnerving  
For a sucker who's not buying  
its not right without a site to buy it from  
Ah, those good old days when we were honest  
Suddenly those good old days are gone  
Ten years we've been running  
Needing so much more than just bumming  
Needing money, a chance to retire  
Look at that account number going higher!  
Flabby, fat and lazy  
you fell for it and oops-a-daisy!  
_

NiGHTS started to think that if he had invested it wouldn't have been a good idea.

_Just invest! Just invest!  
That is my final request  
It's been years since we've had anybody here  
And we're obsessed  
with your money, with your currency  
All of that is just for me  
While my interest keeps on growing  
just like energizer, keep on going_

Salesmen lined up in two rows, unveiling expensive objects, at the end of the chain was that sales dude with a top hat and a cane.

_Bill by bill, coin by coin  
'Till you shout, "GET MY LAWYER!"  
Then we'll run away and leave no evidence  
later we'll prop our feet up_

_But for now, we run like cheaters  
just invest!_

_Just I-_

NiGHTS was never able to hear the last part as he was tackled out of the sky by a floating figure. NiGHTS had a glimpse of the attacker's face for a brief moment, but could only identify that it was also a maren. The Turquoise hood that covered the marren's face also hid her identity. How did NiGHTS know the attacker was female? Cause either that or she was smuggling some bread under that jacket.

**Unknown**

"Owies that wasn't nice" "Neither is this." She replied, promptly throwing a T.N.T at his face. Of course this time he was ready and avoided it, sending the stick flying into the window of some person who will not be named. "Honey Im home! And guess what? Im fired! We're in debt, I've lost our puppy and there's a T.N.T lodged in your skull…wait WHAT?!"

Well you can imagine the explosion that nearly took down the entire building. The attacker threw several other bombs all skillfully dodged if by skillfully you mean 'flying in random circles'. "Perhaps you can knock the bombs back" someone said. It was a brown bird.

**Owl**

"HOLY SHNITZLES A TALKING OWL!" NiGHTS screamed, flying over and kicking him through a 4 inch thick glass window. "AUGH! OH MY- IT'S IN MY EYE! OW JEEZ HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF A TALKING OWL?! IM ON YOUR SIDE!!" Owl screamed words colorful enough to make a clown's wig pale. NiGHTS blinked and threw Owl at the attacker as a distraction to fly away as fast as he could.

Of course Owl was merely batted away like an alarm clock with wings. NiGHTS was far away enough to avoid bombs, but not far enough to escape. He flew for a while, finally stopping to rest on a roof. The attacker, unfortunately, was smart enough to figure out a way to counter this. She snapped her fingers/claws, a large round bomb landed on the flat roof; a short fuse emerged and lit.

"Uh-oh" NiGHTS leapt from the top of the skyscraper, twirling in the air until that figure tackled him in midair, sending him flying through the stainless steel windows just as the building exploded. That explosion shook through New York, demolishing several miles of the state, disintegrating anything that it came in contact with.

**-Time Square 11:50 pm-**

The entire square was crowded to watch the performance before them by an orange Nightmaren who was juggling suitcases while singing horribly off tune.

**Jackle**

_ACID PAIN!_

_SOME WILL DIE AND OTHERS GO INSANE_

_ACID PAIN!_

_I HAVE TO PEE!_

_ACID PAIN!_

_I HATE YOU, YOU LOVE TWINKLE TWINKLE_

_HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU BAA BAA BLACKSHEEP!_

A sudden rumble shook the place as a large plume of toxic clouds filled the skies. Jackle dropped the heavy suitcases on some innocent child and watched as the ground cracked and sent him falling underground. A web suddenly broke his fall, although he broke the web. "CURSE YOU SPIDERMAN!" Jackle screamed as he fell deeper and deeper into the New York sewers.

A bunny looked into the crater, accidentally dropping his Ice Cream cone into the hole. Without a thought he jumped in after it.

**-Sewers of NYC, 12:00-**

What was that? A moment ago something was there. And now it was gone, but what was it? What was this feeling he had now? It was freedom…some moron freed him. What's this? Waste, filth, darkness…perfect.

--

"IM MELTING!" Jackle screamed, shoving aside a mixture of a solid and liquid that he believed to be his liver. Eventually he forgot about it and floated through the sewers. "I have a bad feeling, or gas…" Jackle mumbled and laughed abit aswell. He did feel something missing though, as if something happened, something big…

He did also see a trail of dark indigo lines running through the sewer water though. When he looked up, he saw why.

_Hmmmm….Sludge, filth, grim…_

Jackle shivered at that voice, it contained the very essence of evil dripping in it (kinda like a bit higher pitched than Tim Curry). It was the every entity of all things horror, the monster in your closet, the evil clown behind you; Mr. Clean's worst enemy.

**Meth**

_Boiling Sun, Poison Sludge._

_Gas prices and noxious stuff._

_Grime beneath me, dirt from a bath_

_Just try to stop my, ugh, ugh…_

_Toxic wrath._

For once in his life, Jackle was frozen in fear. Even his insane mind knew this guy was no joke. He'd goof off to Reala, he'd say whatever to Wiseman sometimes, heck he'd replace Lex's coffee with Super Glue on Saturdays but this guy meant business.

Meth's figure was more like a Nightmaren, similar to NiGHTS. But there were major differences. First off Meth didn't wear a hat, the end of those horns ended in a black sludgy smoke that slowly evaporated causing cancer to anyone exposed to it for longer than thirty seconds.

_I feel freedom, being trapped for so long_

_I'll show my power, after this one song._

_That fool Wiseman, though that I was done_

_Taking over, sounds kind of fun._

_I feel good, a weird kind of funny._

_Nature, plants, and happiness are all rather corny_

_I'll rule them all, with battery acid spit_

_Pour me an oil cocktail; take me to the oil rigs._

_Deadly clouds, acid rain._

_Pouring down like sweet champagne._

_All that's fowl, bringing pain_

_Breathing in that toxic reign_

Meth's skin was a leathery dark blue and black. His eyes were entirely yellow, and below where he floated instead of sparkles was a toxic cloud. He was slowly rising into the air, rising into the middle of the destroyed Time Square. He set off the fire hydrants although muck and sludge came out instead. The entire square was being built into a toxic base.

_Now that I'm free, I need something right…_

_REVENGE!!_

_FOR ALL THOSE YEARS STUCK IN THAT CURSED GEM!!_

_I'm gonna crush, and destroy all creatures small and big_

_And build factories and shiny gas stations..._

_Cause greedy stupid human beings, will always lend a hand_

_With the destruction of this cursed green land_

_And what a filthy city they have provided_

_TO BE A FORTRESS OF DOOM! With my slimy hands to rule it._

Meth waved his hand causing the buildings to spew waste and smog.

_Hit me one time (BANG!) hit me twice_

_Hah, oh yeah well that's really nice._

_Poison grim, poison sludge_

_Diesel clouds and noxious muck._

_Slime beneath me, do the math..._

_Ohh you'll feel my oh, ugh… TOXIC WRATH!_

Jackle realized that although he could be recording this, he couldn't stand the amount of nuclear waste being dumped all over New York. He quickly flew away in terror towards Nightmare.

He stopped in midair, seeing a purple hat floating in the water. He flew down to it and shook it dry. It was NiGHTS' hat, charred and burnt as if it was caught in an explosion. NiGHTS never did go without his hat for very long, so could he have….no he couldn't, he's a main character he couldn't just die…right? Jackle shivered and continued his flight just as the city was engulfed in darkness.

The bunny from earlier looked back at the city, he was floating on a small raft a few miles away from the city. He wore a Jack Sparrow costume, to match the raft which was dubbed the 'Black Carrot'. Of course he also had a guitar, snow cone maker, and a costume chest in the raft with him.

**Paul**

Paul rowed the raft with a giant spatula, setting course for wherever he felt like going. His keen bunny senses told him he should not go to the big scary explosion caused by a psychotic homicidal level -1 Nightmaren with acid as his weapon.

Although he was unaware of the small rip in the air, a slight tear (meaning Rip, not eye juice) in the fabric of space-time which could really not be a fabric because the planets are not lined up in a flat order (take that Albert Einstein you whacky grandpa) but a tear none the less. This could horribly destroy all existence, or heal itself in time. But there was one thing certain about tears; they get bigger when tampered with.

Out of that small tear the size of a watermelon popped a small orb that was quickly sent flying by a wave of sludge, being sent thousands of miles away into the distance. This was a warning, not just any warning like the ones from a motel manager or the warnings in video games. It was serious, for on the other side of the rip was insanity beyond comparison.

**-Stick Canyon 1:00 A.M.-**

It was another peaceful night in Stick Canyon, for the stupid Nightopians were sleeping like bootleg Chao, which they basically were. No one who dwelled here, which is only Reala, has heard about the release of Meth or the release of NiGHTS attacker. Reala was not there at the moment because he was at another pointless job.

(Lex: Hang on a sec. REALA! ARE THOSE FILES DE-VIRUSED YET?

Reala: I can't touch them, they're covered in worms.

Lex: Blame my Dell computer then get back to work! You're not getting paid 6 Pokos an hour to stand around and do nothing.)

Anyways so why are we at stick canyon? Why only to watch a Nightopian with an egg on his face stumble blindly into a bear trap. Let's watch…. it's going, it's stopped…it's peeing…..it's crying…..and it's in labor, we'll get back to that one later.

Away from the scene was Nightmare's smallest level 2 maren. Wearing a magician's robe and looking suspiciously like a green Sonic Chao with orange streaks.

**Devi**

Devi looked around abit nervously; he'd been to stick canyon loads of times before. A traveler like him shouldn't be scared of anything here. The area was well lit, the only others around were the stupid Nightopians, he was armed with various spells both violent and humiliating, he was fast and a small target to hit, and he could be mistaken for a small rock. And yet...Autophobia got the best of him. (Fear of being alone for a certain/long period of time. Ex. Thirty minutes or more in Devi's case)

Autophobia was his only fear, other than needles, Melecy when angry (who's not? I've seen her rip a building from the ground when a Nightopian touched her.) Meth and rubber chickens. Devi walked slowly, alert at all times. He reached into his robe and pulled out a small tape recorder. He pushed play and a voice began to speak.

"Your not alone, you're not alone. Your friend is with you. WHAT'S THIS THING?! Jackle go away. BUT THE MONSTER IS AFTER ME AND HE ATE MY TOAST! Jackle that's a toaster. THAT'S WHAT IT WANTS YOU TO THINK! HEY DON'T SPIT OUT MY TOAST YOU SHINY FEIND! TAKE THIS! OWWWWWWW IT'S HOT! HERE FEEL! Jackle put that toaster down. Jackle. Jackle! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Devi frowned and threw the device at a Nightopian, knocking it off a cliff. He rubbed his head, still feeling abit of pain from the toaster Jackle threw at him. "Okay, don't worry yourself. Nothing's gonna happen bad." Devi started humming to himself. He felt better and began singing quietly and nervously (think Luigi in Luigi's mansion)

_I come to this land from a faraway place, _

_In a chao garden far from Rome._

_It's been rough, and the sun beats all night. _

_It's barbaric, but hey it's home._

_Where the winds from the east, meet the moon in the west. _

_But that is just alright_

_Come on down, stop on by_

_Dualize and fly_

_TO ANOTHER RANDOM NIGHT._

_101 NIIIIIIIIIGHTS, READ NEARLY EVERY DAY._

_REALA LOST HIS JOB, NIGHTS WILL NEVER SOB_

_IT'S RATHER GOOD, I SAY._

_101 NIIIIIIGHTS, ALWAYS A FULL MOON._

_A fool off his guard, will fall in too far_

_And he will be dooooooomed._

_(_I paid him forty bucks to sing it.)

Devi slowly walked past a Nightopian caught in a bear trap. He backed away slowly only to bump into something. "AAAAH!" Devi jumped paws up in a defensive position. It was a small black orb, nothing more. Devi slowly reached out and poked it, seeing it wobble abit. It hurt his paw a lot though, as if it was covered in acid.

There was a message carved onto it, though it had been slightly faded. "_Beware of the gathering of -- for--will be enou--darkness… _What does that mean?_"_

Devi wondered. He turned it over, unaware of the figure behind him.

He ducked, just in time too as a blast of ice flew over his head and hit the orb, sending it flying again. Devi turned around to find a snowy white two-tailed kitsune (Hard to imagine? Think Tails, Sonic's sidekick. Now make him white with blood around his eyes. Make him insane, bloodthirsty and add a fully functional left arm cannon that makes Iron Man look like the Tin Man.) What was really strange was the fact that it's left hand was entirely mechanical, glowing an eerie white.

**Nero**

The arm cannon died down, Nero approached him slowly as if weighed down by something. Devi did the smart thing and ran like a hedgehog from a fat egg-shaped guy. There were more blasts, one landed dangerously close to his skull. But Devi was a lot faster, and pretty soon the homicidal kitsune was left behind.

Devi slowed to a stop, still hearing the mechanical whirring in the distance. He'd be found if he ran because of footsteps, but if he flew then he'd be seen in the air. He had to hide from Nero until he passed, but the only things around were sticks. "_Think, what would Shigeru Miyamoto do_?" Devi thought. He had an idea, a rather smart one.

-1 minute later-

Nero approached the small object covered in a blanket labeled –Devi is not here. Do not shoot-. He simply obliterated it with an ice blast and continued on his way. Nero stopped for a moment, looking back for a few seconds before leaving.

Devi grinned and appeared from the small hole he had dug a few meters away. He walked up to the blanket and removed it, revealing a Nightopian under it frozen to death. What he didn't realize was that it was holding something. A taco…eh, a snack couldn't hurt. Devi picked it up, though it was freezing cold. The cheese was frozen solid.

Wait, there were sticks everywhere. Devi put down the taco and began gathering them. He placed them in a pile and rubbed two together to make a fire. _It's almost sunrise, and all I got to eat is a taco. _Devi looked up and saw Bear Grylls narrating. "….eh." Devi put the taco on a stick and began cooking it like a marshmallow. _Can I have some? _"No, go eat bugs" Devi said. Bear Grylls shrugged and ran off to find bugs. (Watch the show, its quote: Gnarly: unquote)

Devi watched it catch on fire, the cheese bubbling back to life. He put it out and began eating it. "Tastes like a shoe" Devi said, throwing the rest of it at Bear Grylls who caught it in his teeth.

Devi sighed and watched the fire, not realizing that he was being watched.

**-Nightmare-**

"MASTER WISEMAN! MASTER WISEMAN!" "What is it? Did Reala burn down some place?" "Well he is back from that secret place he had to go to for a job but that's not it. Jackle is standing outside demanding that he enters." Worthless Nightmaren number 43 said.

Wiseman raised a hand "Don't let him in yet, it's probably just another pointless-" just that moment the doors to Wiseman's throne room were busted off their hinges, Jackle standing at the doorway being restrained by ten brawny Nightmaren. He bit them and threw them off.

"YOU FOOL! HOW DARE YOU KNOCK OVER MY-" "SHUT THE HELL UP WISEMAN AND LISTEN! METH IS BACK! HE ATE MY PUDDING! NIGHTS IS DEAD, AND SO IS OWL!"

Wiseman blinked. He'd never seen Jackle complete a sentence before, but who the heck was owl? "Meth is sealed forever, he cannot be released." "I SAW HIM!" "Prove it to me" Jackle floated up and threw NiGHTS charred hat at Wiseman, who caught it in his hand.

After a few minutes of prying the horn part of the hat from his eye, Wiseman realized that NiGHTS in fact was dead. "So NiGHTS kicked the bucket? I still need proof that Meth is back out. Without it, it's the tickle feather for you." Wiseman threatened. "NiGHTS didn't kick a bucket, he exploded!" Jackle somehow said without screaming.

Suddenly Owl came in, flying with a cast on his wing. "He's right. I witnessed the event-"

The orb from earlier came flying through the window and knocked Owl out cold. "What's this?" Wiseman reached for it and picked it up; it was ice cold and dripping in battery acid.

This meant one thing. Wiseman got up from his throne…and ran to his room crying about that he was gonna die. "….Wiseman?" "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

(Uh, one of our stars is having an emotional breakout. In the meantime that we get this fixed, please look at these distractions.

To keep you occupied while Wiseman cries, here's a few fun-facts from 101 Nights of randomness. Jackle makes enough money from his jawbreaker factory to buy Mars.

Rook's house is right next to Arcade Aardvark

Every main character in this fic sings at least once.)

Thank you for waiting. Now where was I? Oh yeah…

"NiGHTS can't be dead now; he's needed to stop Meth. I'm not gonna fight him again. Get every Nightmaren available into the Nightmare square and find these ingredients for a soup; we will perform the ultimate ritual to get NiGHTS back." Wiseman ordered.

-Stick Canyon-

Paul rowed onto the shores of Stick Canyon. How did he get to the dream realm? He fell asleep of course. Paul removed his Jack Sparrow costume and donned a Solid Snake one instead. He saw a fire and smelled tacos, so he ran off to find the tacos.

Devi had fallen asleep in front of the fire, Bear Grylls had long since left, and standing right over Devi was none other than Nero. He simply aimed at the small Nightmaren's face and charged the blast. This would get rid of the pest for good, so there would be a threat removed.

All of the sudden Nero was knocked away by a sudden whack, misfiring and freezing pointless flying Nightmaren number 80. The blast woke Devi up as Nero jumped back. Devi's saver was wearing a space uniform and helmet. None other than

**Olimar**

Devi awoke to a start, rolling out of the way as another blast froze the flame that he was sitting in front of. Olimar motioned for him to stay down, Devi obliged. Nero got into a fighting stance and the fight began. Nero shot quite a few blasts, Olimar rolling away from each and landed a good roundhouse kick followed by an elbow to the face.

_Energy at 78 _

Nero leapt to the air, charging and firing a constant blast. Olimar lunar-saluted (double backwards somersault bounce) out of the way and knocked Nero to the ground with a karate chop.

_Energy at 56 _

Nero jumped backwards quite a distance, pointing at Olimar with a deadly look in his eye. He removed a safety shield on the arm cannon, charging up a deadly blast. Then he was hit in the back of the head by a…plunger? Nero fell over, Paul being the cause. He twirled the small plunger gun and accidentally shot himself.

"Ok…" Olimar walked towards Devi and extended his arm. "C'mon, I got to show you somethin." Olimar said. Devi shivered slightly, but followed Olimar. Paul pulled the plunger off of Nero's skull and followed aswell.

**-Nightmare Square-**

Other than having a stupid name, Nightmare square had quite a few Nightmaren around. A soup was being made in an enormous cauldron. Next to it was a level 1 Nightmaren wearing red and black. An imprint of a Persona mask was around his eyes as he was no longer allowed to wear them after what happened.

**Reala**

Here's what happened:

_Flashback_

"_Reala, I have a bad feeling. Go and…What's with the mask?" Wiseman asked, pointing at Reala who was wearing a persona mask. "It's a symbol of my loyalty, master" Reala said. "Okay, well then-" "just say the word and I'll rip out my throat". "Well that's-" "Just say it, and I'll cut my brain in half and feed it to wild jaguars!" _

"_Reala, you're scaring me" "GOOD! EMBRACE THE FEAR! FEAR WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE!! FEAR ENTERTWINES OUR FATES LIKE SLIM JIMS IN A BROKEN DOWN GAS STATION OF LIFE!" Reala was promptly knocked out with a chair for safety. "…I guess I made him too realistic" Wiseman sighed._

_End flashback._

"Master-" "Reala for the love of all things right just call me Wiseman" "Right. Wiseman, you know all too well that I'd follow your orders into a volcano but this is ridiculous." Reala groaned. "Too bad, you still have to do it. QUE MUSIC!" Wiseman ordered.

Reala groaned but still signaled the backup maren (which was nearly every worthless Nightmaren in Nightmare) and began.

_It's close to midnight,_

_And someone evil's luring in the dark._

_Above the moonlight_

_His creepiness just almost stops your heart._

_You try to scream_

_But Meth will take the sun before you make it_

_You start to freeze_

_As Meth look you in the eyes_

_RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!_

_Cause this is Twisler_

_Saving NiGHTS_

_And I just gotta save you from the death you had to plight._

_You know its Twisler_

_Finding NiGHTS_

_Your body rolls inside a_

_Killer, Thriller, Tonight!_

The cauldron bubbled quite abit as Reala and the rest of the marren were forced to dance. Jackle mixed together various things in the bubbling pot.

_You hear the Death toll_

_And realize there's nowhere left to run_

_You feel a cold hold_

_And wonder if you'll ever see the sun_

_Just close your eyes_

_And hope that this is all imagination_

_Whoa! _Reala narrowly dodged a boiling hot splash from the cauldron. "KEEP GOING!" Wiseman ordered.

_But all the while, you hear a creature creeping up behind_

_YOU'RE OUT OF TIME!_

_Cause this is TWISLER!_

_Rescue NiGHTS_

_There aint no second date for the guy with the forty wives._

_THRILLER!_

_Bring back NiGHTS_

_Your running for your life inside a-_

_Twisler, Twisler, toniiiiiiiiiiiiiight._

_Night creatures crawling the dead will float once again_

_There's no escaping the claws of Meth in time, not a rhyme._

Jackle set a blade next to the cauldron and stepped back, wiping the Indian markings off from under his eyes. Unfortunately the Boovian permanent marker doesn't come off easy.

_They're out to get you_

_As Meth closing in on every side._

_NiGHTS we need you_

_Cause I sure don't wanna die._

_Now is the time_

_For you to rise up here_

_All through the night_

_You have to stop his toxic gasoline_

_Come on don't you see?_

_That this is Twisler!_

_Rise up NiGHTS_

_You have to stop him soon or we're all gonna die_

_Twisler!_

_Let's Go NiGHTS_

_We need your skillful flight so we can_

_Kill'Im, seal him, feel him, HERE, TONIGHT!_

_Come bring it Twisler!_

_Hurry NiGHTS_

_Causes I can feel his reign come on or I'll cry_

_Twisler!_

_Come back NiGHTS_

_I need you in my sight to Kill him, seal him. BOOM!_

The lights grew dimmer; the wind began to grow chilled. Reala stopped dancing and approached the podium which the Cauldron was stood upon. His Lifted NiGHTS hat from right next to it and began chanting.

_Darkness falls across the land_

_The death hour is close at hand_

_Recovering the shed blood_

_The blood of my brotherhood._

_And whose soul shall be found_

_Without the trolls that are getting down_

_We stand and face the strangest pass._

_And pay 6.87 for all your gas._

Reala lowered the hat into the cauldron and grabbed the blade from beside the cauldron. He held out his arm…and chopped star fruit into the large pot (gotcha!)

_The foul stenches in the air_

_The fossil fuels of thousand years_

_And busy fools from every room_

_Are closing in a noxious plume_

_You have to fight to stay alive_

_Your body starts to fizzle_

_Cause no mere marren can resist_

_The evil of the Twisler_

The skies erupted with light; a large cloud fell over the Square. When the dust cleared, NiGHTS was passed out on the ground in front of the cauldron. Jackle and Reala tried to help him up, though NiGHTS was out cold. Now that they had a look at him he was rather pale. The usual bright purple hue he emitted was gone and replaced with a worn down charred and bruised grayish-purple.

The cheerful clothes he wore were charred and torn, deep gashes covered NiGHTS now wrinkled skin. Wiseman snapped two of his thirty fingers and the three level 1 marrens were captured. "We need all of the chosen to banish Meth again, and I'm not gonna let any of you get killed. Take them to the dungeons immediately." Worthless marrens numbers 6433, 573, 90210, 3784 and Pi dragged them to the dungeons.

Wiseman would grin, but it would ruin his bad guy look. No one has ever escaped the dungeons…alone.

**-Dead end Dungeons-**

"HELLO?! LET ME OUT IM COLD AND HUNGRY AND THIS STUPID TRIBE FACE PAINT WONT COME OFF!!" Jackle screamed, rattling a cup against the four inch thick titanium bars. NiGHTS had awoken, but he was silent. Night's eyes had lost the happy glow to them, now dull and lifeless.

They'd been there for eight minutes and all NiGHTS had done was slump against the wall. Jackle had tried to pick the lock with his hat but so far had gotten nowhere. Reala had spent all his time trying to get NiGHTS back to his old self, which was strange cause he didn't want to deal with the old jawbreaker eating, happily oblivious Nightmaren that was annoying enough to make Rachel Ray stop smiling.

"I know how to melt the bars" Reala said. "How?" Jackle asked. "Put some apple sauce on them and have a homeless person lick it off. In two years you'll find them dissolved." (Credit to Kamikaze) Jackle obliged and surprisingly splashed the bars with apple sauce. Although they had no homeless person so all it did was polish them.

"NiGHTS….oh wait a moment, I got it! Jackle you have a jawbreaker factory right?" "Yeah but it specializes in tuna made from children's tears" "Gimme a jawbreaker" Jackle shrugged but still handed the sugary treat over. "Look at what I got NiGHTS. You like these things right?" Reala dangled it over the emotion deprived jester but got no reaction. "You want it?" "……" "It's got extra sugar" "……" "Made out of pure happiness and artificial flavoring"

NiGHTS turned his head away and Reala frowned…more. "He's sadder than a two year old who didn't get to go to Disney" Jackle gave an insane cackle to that one before beating the bars with his head. "As far as I can tell, there is no NiGHTS." Reala expected to get a Drill Dash to the face but instead got a glazed over look.

"We need to get in his head cause he's not saying anything. First we gotta get out of here." Reala touched a complicated pattern on the wall and watched it reveal a tunnel. Jackle ran off into it, followed by Reala. NiGHTS also followed, though slower. The sparkles that he normally hadwhile flying were gone.

There was a light at the end of the dungeon. This was just a candle but past that was the exit.

**-Olimar's hideout (AKA a random log cabin)**

Devi put own his bowl of ramen noodles for a moment as Olimar gave Paul a bottle with a quarter in it to keep him busy. "Okay then, I bet your wondering why you just got attacked by an insane fox cyborg" Olimar said as he sat down on his Lay-Z chair. "Not really" Devi said rather quickly. The space captain frowned, he had a story and since he had zero bars in this area he couldn't write it on Fanfiction. He knew he should have gotten T-Marren. Although then he'd have to go back to the network...

_Flashback_

_Olimar got out of his ship, no not the rusty one, that was his company's ship. I meant the S.S Dolphin, Olimar's real beloved ship. Anyways he fumbled his pocket for his house key when he heard "Hello Olimar". The space captain turned around and saw his phone network (you know, the commercial where a bunch of people follow some guy around) standing there._

"_Oh uh…hey guys whats going on?" "We saw you looking at another phone company, of course we know you wouldn't switch cause we don't want anything to happen to you, now would we?" the head engineer said as the network closed in on Olimar. "Uh, no of course not. _Heheh_….now can you put that crowbar away? And the Flail?" "Sorry Olimar, you got zero bars. No one can hear you now…" then everything went black and Olimar woke up a few hours later missing his phone._

"Well I'll tell you anyways. There's more to this than you think. Wiseman sealed Meth off in a crystal, but he needed a scepter to do it. He hid that scepter in a place called…Pepperland. 2000 leagues under the sea it lay…or lied… Im not quite sure. But that Scepter alone couldn't do it, no… you needed the 9 heroes joined together to do it. Or just use a coupon. Wiseman didn't have time to make 9 Nightmaren, cause two of them weren't supposed to be Nightmaren at all."

Devi listened intently, though continued to snack on the ramen noodles. "So Meth is back and he's taken over New York City, where the tear to an unstable amount of insanity is…Lex's mind. Meth is getting enemies that were never put into fictions, such as Nero. I fear there are others." Olimar finished.

"So set off to Pepperland, get the scepter, and seal off Meth Right?" Devi asked, propping his feet up on the table. Olimar nodded "Yep, but it will be a lot harder than it sounds. I won't go incase Nero comes back but you should be fine." Paul looked out the window, and saw that same kitsune from before. "DAAAAAAAAAAH!" Paul ran past Devi just as the wall was blasted into pieces by the insane ice cold cyborg.

"RUN! I'LL HOLD HIM OFF! NO MATTER WHAT DON'T COME BACK!" Olimar ordered Devi wasted no time in doing so, followed by Paul. Olimar stepped up to the cyborg. "You want him; you'll have to go through me first." Olimar said. Nero promptly shot him in the face with an ice blast. (Don't ask how) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Paul stopped running and held Devi back. "He can handle Nero himself" Devi explained as another shot rang. "DEVI, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME. COME BACK NOW!" Olimar screamed. "I DRASTICALLY UNDERESTIMATED THE SITUATION!" Olimar added. Paul tugged Devi and pointed back to the log cabin. "No we have to do what's best for all of Nightmare." "SCREW NIGHTMARE!" Devi backed up abit as he heard four more shots. "He's testing me." "THIS ISN'T A TEST! I SEE A LIGHT!"

Devi shivered and ran off leaving Paul. He had to hide, somewhere far away. Pepperland? Why not? Devi turned and left towards the nearest sea. Paul looked around and kneeled down in a Solid Snake type of way.

**Incoming call**

**Press Select**

_Paul: Major, Devi's ran off. I think he's going to Pepper Land_

_Major Lex: Pepperland? Hmmm…that's odd_

_Paul: Why?_

_Para-medic: Cause only four people have ever been there and come back. The Beatles_

_Paul: The Beatles? You mean that British band?_

_Para-Medic: SHHHH! Keep your voice down._

_Paul: okay, but why?_

_Para-medic: Sigint and Otacon are raving Beatles Fans._

_Major Lex: Paul, we need you to follow Devi to start operation Darkness. He'll lead you to the others. Your equipped with an infinite amount of costumes, a Plunger gun, a fake death and revival pill, and a S.U.B.M.A.R.I.N.E_

_Paul: S.U.B.M.A.R.I.N.E?_

_Major Lex: yes. If you are unsure of what it is give Otacon a call. Sigint is on vacation._

_Paul: Where?_

_Major Lex: that's classified_

_Paul: right._

_Major Lex: remember, if you need help just give a call. My frequency is 123.45_

_Paul: got it._

_Major Lex: and Paul, remember each costume gives you some kind of ability. Naruto gives you speed, Solid Snake gives you a radio, intelligence, and a box, and Jack sparrow gives you a small ship._

_Paul: what about the rest?_

_Major Lex: Im afraid they aren't tested._

_Paul: okay. I like this one though. Commencing operation Darkness, now._

_End call…_

…

**Incoming Call**

**Press Select**

_Paul: Otacon, what the heck is a S.U.B.M.A.R.I.N.E?_

_Otacon: S.U.B.M.A.R.I.N.E? It stands for Submerged Undercover Bunny Mover And Really Intelligent New Electronics._

_Paul: … My brain hurts_

_Otacon: Basically it's an advanced Submarine._

_Mei-Ling: Who's that honey?_

_Otacon: uh… no one dear. Listen Paul I gotta go._

Call ended

Paul got up and followed Devi's footsteps, wondering why Otacon had to go and why Mei-ling was… oh god…

**-Otacon's house-**

Otacon hung up his radio. "You can't beat me in checkers Otacon" Mei-Ling bragged, currently holding thousands of betting dollars. "Oh yeah? Watch this" Otacon moved one piece. Mei-ling somehow made a 40 piece jump. "King me." Mei-ling smirked.

**-Outskirts of Nightmare-**

Reala dropped NiGHTS in front of a mystic's tent. Surprisingly the only mystics tent around. Jackle peeked his head in and nearly freaked out. Reala rolled his eyes and entered the tent, dragging NiGHTS in by the hat. Surprisingly it was a much bigger place on the inside. More like a night club than a mystic's tent.

But of all the mystics, sorcerers, and bad tempered people in the world they had to get this one. The one marren that could make Mr. T pity him. With long flowing blonde hair she was the only marren that disobeyed the rule of having to wear a hat.

**Melecy**

The three copyrights only got a glimpse of her since apparently she was in the middle of a song.

_Who's that girl marren wearing all the latest fashion?_

_You'd better know my name cause Im_

_Me-le-cy!_

_She knows allot of spells, and her skin feels like lotion._

_Even so you'd better respect me_

_Don't let yourself be fooled by her innocent demeanor_

_You'd better fear me for I am_

_Me-le-cy!_

_She doesn't play around and can be quite a scare._

_Problom? Deal with it cause Im like that._

Melecy stopped for a moment and landed in front of Reala. "What do you want Michael Jackson?" Melecy asked. "Hey just cause I had to sing a remix of Thriller doesn't mean anything!" Reala frowned…more. "Suuuuure…" Melecy smirked sarcastically. Still she had to finish the song so…

_Gill wing's tooth, I just might help you._

_Clawz' feet, but do something for me._

_Gulpo's fin, of course I always win._

_Add a little magic and...Oh crap not again..._

_She will save the world, unless she doesn't want to._

_Everyone knows Im the greatest_

_Me-le-cy_

_You'd better watch your step because you'd be better off._

_One more word and you'll face Mr. Charloff._

Miles and miles away there was a horribly scream.

_I am just like most girls, but I guess it's true well i don't have as many friends as you._

_But I think your okay and not that annoying..._

_But if you touch me your dead._

_Who's the girl marren who wears all the latest fashions?_

_You'd better be afraid cause Im_

_Me-le-cy_

_Just remember this when you see her on the street._

_Im the coolest marren you'll ever see._

Melecy ended the song, which Jackle clapped rapidly for no apparent reason. "So what did you need again?" she asked, shutting off the lights. "NiGHTS is traumatized or something, he won't say anything. Watch." Reala dangled a jawbreaker in front of NiGHTS face, which he did nothing but stare. Melecy pondered this for a moment. "Huh… Im not a miracle worker, but he must have seen something. Looks like he's been to hell and back."

"Well technically… Meth is back." "… Who?" "You know, the toxic Meth?" "…" "Tried to overthrow Wiseman?" "Uh…" "Evil overlord?" "Ohhhhhhhh….I have no idea who your talking about" "Full name is Methamphetamine?" "The guy from high school?" "You've never been to high school" "Didn't need to. I practice magic as a level 15 Sorceress." "Didn't find that on Myspace."

"EXCUSE ME!!ONE!!" Jackle screamed, interrupting a conversation that would have lead to trading phone numbers. "NIGHTS IS DEAD INSIDE!!" Jackle blurted out. Melecy gave him a death look, keeping the insane marren quiet. "Well anyways I think you should try finding out what he saw that caused this." Melecy said.

"Okay, but how will that help?" "It won't" "So why do it?" "I dunno. How'd you revive him?" "A spell involving pointless dancing." Melecy nearly laughed. "…you're not Melecy are you?" Reala asked. "I am, just on therapy" "ah." "Anyways that's a weak spell; this is how you do it." Melecy took a moment to get a bottle from a random trap door only to smash it on NiGHTS' head.

"…what was that?" "Pure liquid happiness. You might wanna stand back" she promptly dived behind a bullet proof wall. Jackle backed off as there was a large bright flash. After the light faded NiGHTS was still as a board. "…NiGHTS?" Reala asked, slowly approaching him. He was suddenly and nearly killed by a hug.

"REAAAAAAALAAAAAAA! ISAWAWEIRDEXPLOSIONANDTHENAWERIDCHAOTHINGNAMEDDCWHO

WASREALLYSADBUTNOWIMBACKANDIMSOHAPPY!" NiGHTS screamed. Reala turned even blue-er. "That's….nice….can't….feel brain" Reala choked. Melecy shivered "what have I done?"

NiGHTS released the death hug, about to turn to Melecy when he remembered about that poor Nightopian (never had a chance.) Jackle was literally un-huggable. It's like hugging a sheet.

**-Coast of Nightmare-**

Paul stopped, looking around and diving behind a shipping crate. He peeked and saw Devi browsing through the submarines that were for sale. But the ocean was blocked off; he had to get that gate open. But how? The button to open it was inside the giant building somewhere. But it was guarded pretty well, so Paul decided to do the smartest thing.

20 minutes later he was scaling the side of the building with two magnets. The effect of which was louder than the god of thunder breaking into a house full of microphones, subwoofers, and megaphones while wearing blow horn shoes. Devi didn't notice this, as he was looking at a submarine shaped like a question mark. "Tis here's the S.S great unknown. It will never sink." The salesman grinned .Out of nowhere Owl came zooming through the air and hit the Great Unknown, causing it to sink.

"Im okay" Owl said before being thrown away by Popeye who promptly died of E Coli. Devi ignored this as well, deciding to ask someone for the right sub.

**-Rook's House-**

"Why do we have to bring him into this?" "Because we can't beat this Math" "Meth" "whatever, without him." Melecy said as Jackle knocked on the door. Then everything went white…

--

Have to cut it short since Im not sure how long I can make it. Review, ive worked on this for two months editing it to make it perfect.

Jackle: TWO MONTHS!


End file.
